One More Night

I got the inspiration for this poem from a song with the same name sung by Phil Collins. I've tried hard not to plagiarize the song, so feedback is much needed.

Here in a cloudless night

We lie in each other’s arms

Moon and stars shine bright

I feel your sweet tender charms

 

Here on this feather pillow

We whisper honeyed phrases

And close our eyes for tomorrow

In each other’s warm embraces

 

Tonight, the sky is clear

Tiny stars are full of glitter

You look gorgeous my dear

My love, no one else is better

 

And when the sun comes out

And shines its radiant light

I will raise the shout

I long for one more night

 

One more night with you

One more night, is it true?

Author's Note

Please provide constructive criticism of where improvements could be made in this poem.

Reviews

[billyjf]

my favorite stanza is the fourth stanza.

[Melli]

I love Phil Collins:) I think this is a beautiful spin off of his song. I really like how you describe the night, and how you use unique adjectives like “honeyed”! I don’t have a lot of advice for you on this one, sorry;) Good job!