Amandas Eyes

My Dearest Amanda,

  I write this in the hopes that one day you might read this, your glittering, sapphire eyes skimming across my earthbound dictionary of words, not being able to describe your beauty in the way that it should truly be captured. Your autumn colored hair shimmering in the midnight moon, the glistening dew drops of the soon coming dawn's mist. Your translucent ebony cheeks, tinged with a rush of blood, but not from the inside. I soon realize that guns shoot much faster than expected, and make much more of a mess. You beautiful ivory lace gown, now a disgusting mess of my splattered mind, as in life, it is in death. They say before you die, you have exactly seven minutes of "life" left, i suppose these were mine, well from what i can remember. 

  One. I remember the day we met, it was a dull misty day and you arrived as bright as if the sun were out, it not like you would notice, you rarely ever did. You were the happiest soul i'd ever met, i fell in love right away.

  Two.I recall the first time i saw you cry, your eyes were different somehow, different than all the others. They were beautiful, mystifying .

  Three. I remember why i fell in love, it was because of your eyes.

  Four. I remember the way i proposed, looking into the windows of your soul that held my heart, and them shining at the prospect of being my wife.

  Five. I remember the accident, the way your face was an array of grizzly blues blacks and reds, your eyes, my loves, were destroyed in a moment.

  Six. I remember sitting in the hospital crying over the loss of your beautiful eyes, but i collected myself to be there for what was left of you. All you wanted was to get the wedding on its way.

  Seven. We were on our last words, just one word, and we'd be together forever, but i disappointed you. I stared at your now milky, dead, lifeless eyes, and i went mad. All that i'd lived for was gone. Your eyes gone, my love gone, my life gone, my soul disintegrated. I grabbed my gun and put it to my eyes, they could never compare to yours, there was nothing beautiful to stare at anymore. And with that, i pulled the trigger. That was 7 years ago today.

 At the moment I'm staring at my favorite picture of your eyes, a mirror, the deep, brilliant sapphire, and the black specks that held my world staring back at me, my heaven. I'm now writing to you from my personal hell, my favorite speck in your eyes, and i sit here ,in your eyes, my favorite place for what should be eternity. But then i see the gun, my very own. Goodbye my dearest Amanda, eye'll see you soon.