Jason and Kelly: Partners in Crime

Wedding present for my best girl's weeding(ment to spell incorrectly) ;)

Jason and Kelly

Partners in Crime

 

As we studied we sprouted

As we traveled we grew

  And as we create this deal called love we blossom.

We know where we have been and the future is ready to embrace us where ever we go...

  wherever ya’ll go on this new emerging path

  The past is what creates our future and the present is the mixing bowl for that creation

On this new journey

  Ya’lls love will carry you to future’s shore

And memory is the water on which your intertwining soul’s boat sails

Please rock the boat, tip the boat over and let your souls swim together in the memories that will be created

 

Reviews

[HempSaves]

cool thanks for the help ill add the suggestions to the brew ;)

yeah there is a shift from mine and kelly's relationship as friends to her and her man's new start, aye
guess that transition needs to be more defined. damn transitions get me every time.

[L. S. Kearnes]

Unsure about this one. I'm uncertain about the point of view from which this is being spoken. The first few lines including the top quote (or title, I don't know) go well together, but then you lose me in the body. I don't know if this is someone telling a young couple how things will work out, or if it's someone telling me how things will work out. I think the poem loses a little value because I'm focused on trying to figure the point of view out instead of trying to understand the meaning.
But I think with a little work, this could be a really great poem. Keep working at it and welcome to WC.

[[untitled]]

the quote and first few verses share a common theme... but the last lines divert and perhaps i missed the shift. either way this work displays a talent that i look forward to watch and learn from. great ideas and imagery, good poem!

[phlogiston]

Awr. Thats really sweet. =]