An Incredibly Angsty Note-Thing That Offers Nothing and Gives Less

Wrote this sometime after she broke my heart. Go figure, right? Also, I lifted a few lines from NIN but oh well, who's reading this s**t anyway?

So, this is going to hopefully be the last time you'll have to hear of my pathetic, broken heart.  But I'm going to pour it all out in these next few pages.  I can't eat this anymore.  It just doesn't taste very good.  It's really sour and kind of bitter.

I fell for you so hard.  I'm surprised I didn't get a concussion.  Or maybe I did, and that's why I just couldn't see that what we had was quickly disappearing.  Or maybe we never had anything at all.  And my fall just screwed with my head.  Maybe it was all a grand hallucination.

I kept telling myself it was all right because what we had was so beautiful.  And that I was so damn lucky.  Just so damn lucky...  but you didn't feel any of that, did you?  I thought that you were happy and that you...  sorry, I ran out of words.  The crux is that you weren't.  You always wanted more than I could give you.  

I'm crying all over this page and that's not even half as pathetic as how stupid I've been.  It's amazingly how perfectly I've been able to lie to myself.  I lied so well that even now it's hard for me to think that we have no future together.  I know we don't.  I wish we did.  It's just too much to swallow.

My heart has never been so broken before.  And you can't help me pick up the pieces.  But why would you even want to?  I don't even want to pick them up.  It's just no fun without you.  Nothing is fun without you.  Things really just aren't as vibrant anymore.  Nothing is as loud or clear.  Everything is just kind of fuzzy and gray.

I kind of feel like I'm just floating.  I'm lost for you.  I've always been lost for you.  But we used to be together on the road before and if we weren't near each other, we could find our way back by the sound of each other's voice.  Now I'm lost by myself and all I can hear are my own echoes.

And now you have someone else.  And I'm stuck here to dry my own tears.  I could lean on the shoulder of your ghost, but it would only break my heart even more, if it were even possible.

I remember when you used to say that I made you so unbelievably happy...  what is true?  Was any of it?

To quote a song, I've got some angel stuck inside of me.  That angel is you.  Why can't I let it go?  That angel doesn't want to watch over me anymore.  So why won't it fly away?