On The Edge

Stretch your arms high up to the sky.
Easy there,
It's not like you're gonna fly.
You might fall off you know.
So, keep it slow.
Easy there,
This broken edge won't carry you anymore.
It's all falling apart, that well-done decor.
Stand still.
This is going to be worse than falling off a hill.
I'm afraid fastening your seat belt,
Won't do you any good.
It's all going to melt.
It'll happen as fast as fire eats wood.
I bet you weren't even listening
to what I've just said.
So don't go on covering,
Your sick twisted head.
I recommend you close your eyes.
Oh, how time flies.
Your time has come.
Excuse me, I'll start to hum.
As I watch you collapse.

Author's Note

Review please.

Reviews

[SoLongAndThanksForAllTh..]

Reading this poem it seems to have a very personal quality. I'm not sure if it's your choice of writing using direct address - which lends a certain familiarity or something else. I'm hoping that it's not from personal experience. Whatever it is you've found a way of generating a certain intimacy with the reader.

The subject matter is very sad. To me the narrator is telling us their own story but from the view point of another. This gives the poem something of a detatched feeling but it's very easy to symathise with her as she tells us so many times how her fate is inevitable, "I'm afraid fastening your seat belt won't do you any good" - it's all so very tragic.

You've done a great job here, I'm looking forward to reading more of your work!

[Coyote Poetry]

Sometime dancing on a edge may lead to a bad ending. A very strong poem. I like the pace and emotion in the poem. A excellent ending. Thank you.
Coyote

[angelina]

I enjoyed this piece. It talks of not expecting much and expecting the worse case scenario. I like the way you start off by saying how 'you' is for lack of better words, dreaming, and then at the end, it twists into 'I' the cynical of the two watching the dreamer fail. It reminds me of the play called life. The bittersweet tears and the sweat and blood we have to work to to just rid ourselves of them to acquire new memories to replace the damaged ones, to forget.

[*skittlez*]

this i scary i like it alot

[Norma M Sutton]

To tired to really take this on in tonight. But it is scary.

[.]

precise..spoken word has a flow as does this..it's tight and fluid

[Mauricio Montoya]

This piece made me think of a black hole that takes everything, even light, yes we can see it as long as were not in its path, we can stand, fall, or reach towards the sky, but nothing will change unless we look inside.
nice work.