When It Mattered

When It Mattered

A Poem by Hoshi Nami
"

Oh so long ago, my heart and mind were one.

"
I once painted  a picture
With a s****y watercolor set
Of large beautiful trees
Rooted in sad gray clouds
Against a blue sky with purple stars
I was proud of it
I thought it was imaginary




Now I am stuck on a tree branch
stretching farther from earth and
closer to the clouds
It is cold up here
And lonely
There are no stars
To guide me home into your arms.

© 2010 Hoshi Nami


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Featured Review

You know, most people would be put off by the word "s****y" in this poem, and I'll admit it kind of makes one focus, but I actually think it works - it gives this the proper voice of a bitter adult looking back on something warm and bittersweet in childhood, she's remembering an emotion that she rarely feels now, if ever. The huge gap between stanzas actually carries a strong symbolism, whether it was intended or not. It creates a gap that separates the innocent past from the bitter, unclear present. The imagery of the water color and how it became the dark world the narrator's in now is superb. The only question left is, who's arms is she wishing to be guided into? It's always up to the author, but I think this poem would be just as effective if not more if it ended on "To guide me home." Just my thoughts, and I overall liked this quite a bit.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

You know, most people would be put off by the word "s****y" in this poem, and I'll admit it kind of makes one focus, but I actually think it works - it gives this the proper voice of a bitter adult looking back on something warm and bittersweet in childhood, she's remembering an emotion that she rarely feels now, if ever. The huge gap between stanzas actually carries a strong symbolism, whether it was intended or not. It creates a gap that separates the innocent past from the bitter, unclear present. The imagery of the water color and how it became the dark world the narrator's in now is superb. The only question left is, who's arms is she wishing to be guided into? It's always up to the author, but I think this poem would be just as effective if not more if it ended on "To guide me home." Just my thoughts, and I overall liked this quite a bit.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The more we are disappointed in life the farther our heart and mind becomes in looking at life. An interesting way of expressing that feeling... very creative.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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2 Reviews
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on November 18, 2010
Last Updated on November 18, 2010

Author

Hoshi Nami
Hoshi Nami

About
my favorite poets (in order) are:: charles baudelaire william butler yeats carl sandburg pablo neruda i love the spanish language. my favorite color is purple. i've been down the rabbit hole, and am .. more..

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