She is a GirlA Poem by ImAnAnomalyShe tried. She tried so hard. Nothing was ever good enough. She is the girl who constantly begs for forgiveness when all
she did was bump into you softly or thinks she got in the way. She is the girl who apologises for something so menial you
would think she was joking. She is the girl, who is still a girl, because she was never
shown how to be a woman. She is the girl, who deep inside, feels like she’s never
going to be enough. She is the girl who has to convince herself every morning when she wakes that she is worth it. She is the girl who pleads with herself to not be too
emotional in front of everyone. She is the girl who doesn’t want your validation or your
pity, just your comfort. She is the girl who cries to herself everyday because she’s
so alone. She is the girl who puts herself down at every moment she
gets. She is the girl who tries to change her entire self to be
more desirable to you. She is the girl who thinks about ending her own life every
morning when she wakes, and every night before she goes to sleep. She is the girl who never goes through with it because she’s
too scared. She is the girl who always finds excuses not to do it because
really, she wants to live. She is the girl who thinks about it because in her mind, everyone
would be better of without her. She is the girl who has grown up, her entire life, hating
every piece of herself. She is the girl who one day might kill herself. She is the girl who one day wants to kill herself. She is the girl who knows when she does, a few people might
care and others will pretend to, they will say they grieve her but they never
really knew her or took the time out of their days to say they were there for
her. She is the girl who will watch, from beyond the grave, as
everyone talks about mental health and how they wish they could have stopped
it, when beforehand they couldn’t give a damn. She is the girl who knows when she does, she’d wish she’d
done it sooner. She is the girl who knows when she does, she’ll feel free. She is the girl who never wanted to be born. Never wanted the
horrible and violent childhood she had. Never wanted the teenage years she had
that were spent crying in the toilets every lunch and break-time because of the
bullying. Never wanted the University life she has, where she constantly sits
alone. Never wanted to have the pressures of trying to find a job and being
turned away at every opportunity. She is the girl who is struggling, immensely, with severe
depression and anxiety. She is the girl who never wanted you to give her everything,
she just wanted you to be there when she needed you. She is me. © 2019 ImAnAnomalyReviews
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Added on May 25, 2019Last Updated on May 25, 2019 Tags: short story, depression, anxiety, hope |