I Wonder If You Think Of Me

Twenty-seven bloody sutures
Broken memories
And shattered futures
Tainted hands
And a darkened soul
Jealous thoughts that consumed us all

I wonder if you think of me
If you're trapped in a lonely prison
Impossible to flee
Haunted by images
Suffocating on shadows
Swallowing my dreams
Replaying the scene

Sickening moans
Serrated knife
Distorted bones
Stained soul
Morbid fate
And still with love
I cannot hate

Author's Note

I don't usually write poetry, feel free to give me any advice.

Reviews

[Paulie Walnuts]

I say this respectfully, so please don't be angry. Obviously, I am interested in the content of your work. This poem means something to you, and that is important. However, one thing I've learned about poetry is that, to be effective, you have to avoid cliche images and themes. Words like "soul" and "dreams" and "love" should be replaced with concrete images, things that make the reader think of something and therefore associate that thought with the word. Show, don't tell. Think of these words and themes not as cliches, but as windows to something interesting. You can't tell a reader what to feel, so you shouldn't force words like "love" onto him. Describe it. What do you think of when you think of love?

[emipoemi]

I dare say this is powerful and profound.... it has some very strong imagery, juicy lines, and the musicality flows relatively well. But I don't know..... There's something about it I don't quite understand - maybe it's too profound for me? and I can't fathom what it's really talking about from not having lived through whatever experience had inspired this to fully understand what's going on. But whatever the case, I can feel the emotion and the imagery is powerful!! Well done!!