Ego's, Image, & Reputation

Ego's, Image, & Reputation

A Poem by Immortal Beloved

i tell it like it is

These are the three main issues for which I, as well as many others deal with everyday of their lives.
Ego-  the "I" or self of any person; a person as thinking, feeling, and willing, and distinguishing itself from the selves of others and from objects of its thought.


a physical likeness or representation of a person, animal, or thing, photographed, painted, sculptured, or otherwise made visible.

the estimation in which a person or thing is held, esp. by the community or the public generally
favorable repute; good name
a favorable and publicly recognized name or standing for merit, achievement, reliability, etc
the estimation or name of being, having, having done, etc., something specified
These are the dictionary definitions of ego, image, & reputation and like others even myself I have one. Mine manifests itself when I’m provoked or betrayed by a friend or lover. I absolutely hate when people you think you know treat you one way but go behind your back and talk s**t, and you know I deal with this s**t all the time I know m***********s don’t like me they don’t even have to say it I can tell by the way they look at me or interact with me or hell even when I ask them a question I get the answer with a fake smile and fake laugh. The end result is that for some strange a*s reason I still consider them a friend because I see the good they used to have and now to see them turn completely ugly because of their ego it’s disheartening.

For example Sam Differ I find her on facebook im happy as hell cause it’s been umpteen number of years since I seen her so it was the usual greeting of "how ya been looking good" and then she replied the same and I told her what all happened and poof she goes awol. Sorry if it was too much drama for ya toots but you did ask ^_^. So as the story goes on I take everything as I see it yeah I’m blunt about it but what the f**k you gonna do? Tattle on me like a 1st grader?

"Waaaaa Kevin’s saying mean things about me teacher please make him stop"

As for her image I see what all the guys see: a hot piece of a*s who can grease my pole anytime but I don’t want her in that fashion what’s the point of having something that’s a well-trained bicycle that’s been ridden by both sexes and f***s in the OCD style only to just switch it up via: costumes, oils, lovers, positions, & etc?

She likes expensive jewelry so that’s another part of her image and that includes other women s**t she’s a model for Christ’s sake, that’s a given. But who knows maybe she’s a nice person I don’t know s**t man it’s like Lil Wayne said "If you understand me then good because I don’t understand myself" and yeah that’s pretty much but I’ve got some sense of s**t.
I’m not doing this kind of s**t for attention in case you were wondering I’m only stating the facts and the TRUTH because most people are afraid hell wait a minute EVERYONE IS AFRAID OF THE TRUTH except me I know the truth I’m doing this because it needs to be said and known and like I’ve said time after time if you don’t like me and can’t stand me then delete me off your myspace and facebook it won’t bother me none one less person to notify on my top friends list.
No I’m not disturbed well maybe a LITTLE but still I’m coherent lol, see reality is we’re all no good cheap useless pieces of s**t who everyday act like a n****r.
Now I mean n****r as in ignorant towards each other not the racial term that only comes into play when the ignorance takes over and joins forces with the ego, image, and reputation.

Me I’m a n****r everyday hahahah proud of it and not afraid because unlike most people I actually know the definition so when I call you a n****r I mean you’re being ignorant I don’t f*****g care about race, religion, sex preference, income, education, whatever else falls into that category you are a n****r because you’re being ignorant.

As for her reputation, she’s a low class model no where near the high class ones maybe middle class so that means her friends would and will have to be pretty, attractive, skinny, built, and most importantly and this is a plus which disgusts me to the core: Perfect.

Okay number one: NO ONE IS PERFECT GOT THAT? I don’t know where or who the f**k invented that terminology but it’s totally false no one is perfect say for one and that is me! Lol just kidding I know I’m not perfect only thing perfect about me is my words and my truth pieces because they’re raw, real, uncensored, and in your face much like Howard Stern whom I respect deeply for staying on air throughout 9/11 and not getting recognized for that Leno and O’Brien did but not him. Nah the award for perfect goes to Jesus Christ because he is without sin 110% didn’t do a thing wrong all he did was die for us but I won’t get into it because when me and religion get into bed it turns into BDSM all night long.

Number two: Fakeness is the worse f*****g condition that courses through our veins everyday. I’ll admit it I’m fake but I’m brutally and bluntly honest about it there’s still people I’m associated with and I don’t like em and I’ve told I do but I really don’t and its usually because of who they are with and the drug/alcohol mixture they get involved with.
Or it’s because I keep hearing bout how great one girl is at sucking dick or how some guy got blown by another girl while his girlfriend/fiance/wife was at a party or at home so yeah I hate fakeness it’s ugly and disgusting.
But what cracks me up is when I’m at the bar and some guy or girl sees my shoes looks at me and asks automatically I swear it’s OCD "You got some big a*s feet what’s your size?" and naturally I say "Size 16 and you know how to find out the rest" which in turn gets me a chuckle or playful slap on the arm or chest, s**t I make grown a*s men insecure when they compare their small feet to my big feet and it’s funny because they’re girl is sitting right there and he’s freaking out and I tell him "Dude if she felt insecure about your dick she’d be coming home with me but no she’s not she’s happy with your c**k be proud of yourself"

Fake people truthfully and honestly ruin it for the real people to shine through like myself and others. But the really funny part is people’s dreams they had back in high school and look where they are now: hooked on drugs, alcohol, sex, nicknaming their kids Whoops, gaining weight, developing some eating disorder, locked up dropping the soap, dead, or and I praise them for this: moved away from here and I’m talking like the other coast or another country don’t come back to the drama that you were born in find somewhere new to set up roots forget your old life your new life starts wherever you may roam.

Hell why do you think most of my decoder rings don’t work anymore? Because m***********s left me! Lol.

"The decoder ring you are trying to reach has been disconnected please resend the coded message and try again" ain’t that a b***h V_v I mean honestly do any of you have Real friends and I’m talking back to the days of when you were 5 years old and your best friend cuddled and kept you company because you were afraid of either: thunderstorms, parents fighting, first boo boo, or something else and you knew in that instant a bond was formed that went so deep nothing could break it except for betrayal or deceit.
Now I want you all to look back at me you remember them days :P I was funny nothing but funny always smiling always wild and in trouble, but fast forward Father Time and Baby New Year here I am older, battle worn, tired, defiant, happy, sad, depressed, obdurate and nihilistic to my very core. Everyone thought I’d make something of myself and I did all it took was a chance encounter, many beatings, graduation, a female pedophile, near death experience, falling in love and getting my first kiss then getting dumped because she was insecure at 23, losing my dog, my sanity, my reason, my being, and my own soul to bring me full circle and make me that much stronger than I ever knew I could be.

You know what brought me here now let me tell me break me down ^_^.

I’m superbly overweight, I walk crooked because of CP, no job, on disability, always fighting with my mother and sister, sitting out on the stoop, listening to my tunes, writing stories when the mood strikes, virgin (only thing on me that isn’t tainted), tits bigger than most chicks cept that Brittany Thurston has me beat lol, kegger gut, no a*s due to sitting out and getting it beat down over the years, chronic stroker :P, sleep almost all day, back in the gym in the hopes of losing weight and getting one date so I can show some chick my affectionate side, watch tv, eat maybe what? 1-2 times a day with snacks between, no car & license haven’t taken the test yet some fear behind it but whatever, and I’m smart and honest to a T.

So there ya go me broken down by moi lol I don’t care really I know my defaults but I want you to do this don’t have to but if you really wanna get to the nitty gritty you will open up wordpefect or microsoft word and make a list of all your defaults you remember this drill except it was with the mirror and if you could find at least 20 things wrong with yourself then you had issues with your image or something I forget and I don’t feel like going into my own documents and finding the m**********r to explain better so just whatever ok? Just make a list doesnt have to be perfect no numbers, dots, lines, just plain and straightforward type out all your defaults I don’t wanna see em I just want to see how many people actually people do it because if you can’t then you are truly afraid of your own image and yourself but if you’re not and wanna prove this fat f**k wrong then do it I quadruple dog dare ya okay?

And the funniest part is that what’s fueling me is the 1987 theme song for the animated movie G.I. Joe >< hahaha no joke you can find it on youtube and download it to your ipod via realplayer just convert it to ipod format and boom you got it lol.

But anyway if the top of your list has weight as number one then you got body image issues but if it’s near the bottom of your list then you got no worries then that just means your personality is what you worry about more and the list includes the little things too. So back to the topic at hand I know too many people and the majority they’re reputations it goes like this. The only way I consider a woman to be a s**t is not by the dictionary definition which says over ten guys I consider you a s**t if I know that you sleep around or its because you make poor choices in men and the same goes for guys too although actually that would make the guys pussyhounds because they cant keep it in their pants.
Now of course you say "Good thing you’ll never get that far because you’d crush the girl"
ehhh so f*****g what at least I’ll bust my nut -.- lol kidding nope for me sex comes and this is my rule last in a relationship. There is absolutely no need to f**k on the first date or the third date cuz that’s rushing s**t you gotta go slow think with your brain not your c**k or c**t.
S**t that’s why Weaver’s mad at me and hates me because I wrote a wittle blog about how men and women go for bodies and not personality and I mentioned and it’s true that kristen offered to set me up to f**k becky birnie because according to kristen she was a "good f**k" and I’m like no thanks cause why you gonna call your friend used goods and a s**t basically s**t it’s like practically advertising that becky’s got easy written on her forehead and kristen’s got beck’s pimp on either hand it’s funny but degrading and its for that reason I wont sleep with becky not my type and she turned into a sales pitch lol.

I don’t necessarily do these pieces to alienate or goad people into an argument or a fight I do it because unlike them I can speak for myself no not that its ummm the fact that they want to put out this picture of perfection and behind is nothing but dirtiness and corruption.
For example David Brown you all know him from hanging down at Sheetz with me all those late nights ago and as for my absence I got banned for stealing a red bull during carnival week so I don’t really give a f**k about it but he’s banned also for mouthing off to Mary and as a result got his a*s banned from this Sheetz but also Westminster too lol.

Dave is the prime example for this because he runs his mouth, talks s**t behind your back, tries to be nice and can’t, b*****s and moans worse than any girl I ever met, stupid, dumb, retarded, always got involved with the cops when something happened down there and bitched about the next night when he got a subpoena and we told him left and f*****g goddamn right "Dave quit getting involved and you wont have to go to court you stupid f**k" and he listens then does it again. But the worse part was when he’d steal other people’s stories and turn em around and make them as if they happened to him. For instance people got sick and tired of me and him going back and forth so they all agreed we should settle it in the field beside the store and we did I won straight up three count wouldn’t you know not 24 hrs had passed and he’s going around telling people that he beat me because he’s a glorified p***y and a chicken s**t.

You try to tell him don’t do this and don’t do that and he completely agrees
then five minutes goes by and he does it V_V hence why I’m not his friend anymore because he’s arrogant, egotistical, and whiny. F**k man if I really wanted to I’d kill his sorry a*s and in my statement to the police I’d say "One less mouth feed and one less mind to worry about"

I can’t even remember one time I was ever happy being around him and that would have to be when he wasn’t at Sheetz stupid cockblocker. All the time he’d call me nothing but fat names, always tried to fight me, called me a p***y, running his mouth about me behind my back, and the worst is going drinking with him.

The thing that cracks me up is when I say to different chicks I know that I would date them and automatically OCD infused they respond with "I already have a boyfriend" which with my handy dandy decoder ring means "I don’t wanna date you you’re not my type" and a bunch of other s**t so I don’t sugarcoat it for ya I’ll tell ya straight up what’s the buzz cuz I’m not the sugarcoating type unless I absolutely have to like I said I’m blunt, straightforward, raw, real, uncut, and fresh you can’t handle that there’s the door don’t let your a*s hit it on the way out unless you do it on purpose to give me a cheap chubby which I wouldn’t waste the load on because it’s not worth it so there ya go. I mean s**t people don’t you get tired of living the OCD life of sugarcoated truths and lies don’t you wish you had Real people like me to tell you how its really going and that the world ain’t a pretty place. Don’t you wish you had someone like me to tell you that you try to hard at dating and that only the opposite sex sees you for being a f**k toy and nothing else?

My ego is bold, controversial, loud, and everything in between.

My image is totally random I don’t really focus it but mainly it’s humor to hide the sorrow.

My reputation is completely solid at least I think it is yeah it is I ain’t done nothing in the realm of pissed off any chicks around here because we dated in the past because s**t they already hate in some form so that’s settled.

But I guess the reason I do these blogs is to weed out the fake fuckers and bring forth the real ones I don’t know honestly I just say what needs to be said and if you don’t like then I got two words for ya: SUCK IT!!!.

© 2009 Immortal Beloved

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Added on October 20, 2009


Immortal Beloved
Immortal Beloved

Manchester, MD

My heroes are males and females who report that they were raped no matter how long ago it was you are my true heroes no matter what people say YOU guys are the true heroes!!! and you got my respect 10.. more..