Battlefield

How we all will feel at some point in our lives. Maybe some of us already have felt like this before...

Battlefield

The air around me is filled with an aura of shock and realization

I've never seen true horror of life until now

I've been everywhere

I've seen everything

or so i thought

Tears are pouring down the faces of men, women and children

Blood, so much of it.

Carnage everywhere.

A smoke filled sky

I’m standing on a battlefield.

Author's Note

Tell me what you think :)

Reviews

[The Last Dragoon]

Don't take this as a criticism but only a suggestion that you consider a few different points of view. There are all kinds of reactions to being under fire for the first time, and they range from exhilaration to numbness to emotional exhaustion at coming through it alive. And every emotion in between. A friend who'd served in the artillery had no particular feelings at all.

The the immediate post-battle emotional response to the carnage as told by your narrator is probably less common than you imagine, because there are still a lot of things to do and your mind hasn't absorbed it all -- yet. This isn't the expected PC response.

Also, put yourself in that situation, but in context. If you were a Filipino soldier whose unit just overran a Japanese position and your family is missing and probably murdered, and you're not thinking of bayoneting the wounded, well ....

Just sayin'.

As for the writing, saying "carnage" and then describing only tears and smoke isn't convincing. In fact it doesn't sound horrible at all, especially because the character has been everywhere and done everything. I'm not say make this a torture-porn scene, but you can add some graphic details. Look up the wartime poems of Robert Graves (WWI infantry officer) for examples.