The Delta Paradox

A Story by Innerspace

What would happen if the fundamental truth of our existence was suddenly uncovered, scientifically? Would governments welcome it, or try to suppress it? Would society embrace it, or turn away in fear?

If you are reading these words it means that the plan has succeeded, and I am most likely dead. Not that my death matters; not that anything really matters any more, except for the dissemination of this research.

For the record, my name is Nancy Cardinger, and I worked at the ILS (Innerspace Sleep Laboratory) between November 2008 and March 2013, when the fire occurred. Obviously I did not die in the blaze, which I have surmised was the cover story for my disappearance. I cannot speak for anybody else, nor have I had any contact with the outside world since that fateful day.

My work has continued, nevertheless, in a different country and for a different employer. That's what I've been told, at least. In fact, that's all I've been told. My only memory is of waking up in this facility following a 'dream' of being rescued from the smoke and taken aboard an aeroplane. I've been treated reasonably well since then, under the circumstances. Although I remain, of course, a prisoner here, and I have no choice but to obey my supervisors. The only other people in my life are the test subjects themselves, who are invariably asleep when I see them. But then... aren't we all?

One of these subjects - I'll call him 'J' - is going to serve as a puppet, or drone, by means of a process detailed in my research. Through him I intend to transmit my findings to the outside world. And it's certainly possible, in theory. But quite how such a deliberate intervention would actually manifest is impossible to predict. It's fair to say, however, that anyone who might venture to seek out this information - based, perhaps, on rumours or urban legends - should at least be forewarned about the delta paradox, and how knowledge of it can affect the human psyche.

2

On April 20th, 1993, the mainstream media were busy presenting a dangerous new enemy to the world: Cults, and their charismatic leaders. David Koresh and his followers had just been publically annihilated by the FBI, and the world was supposedly awash with spiritual fraudsters and narcissistic sociopaths, intent upon brainwashing the gullible. And indeed it was, in terms of our own religious and political leaders, at least. For society itself was little more than a glorified cult, functioning solely to serve and enrich those who controlled it. Or, perhaps more precisely, the purpose of society was to support and perpetuate the structures and concepts through which it was being controlled.

It was surely no coincidence, therefore, that the Waco siege occurred at a time when other, more threatening 'cults' were beginning to emerge. Threatening, at least, to the status-quo. Not that I knew any of this at the time, of course; I was actually still a college student, back then, with little interest in either cults or conspiracy theories. All of that was about to change, however, as, in 1995, I found myself falling under the influence of some rather obscure and enigmatic teachings.

Darren chuckled to himself. "We're not a cult," he said, responding to my accusation.

"Well then, what are you?"

After pausing for a moment, he drew my attention to the window. "Tell me, what do you see?"

"Trees," I replied, surveying the grounds below. "People, pavements, grass, buildings..."

Darren smiled, but shook his head.

"Am I even close?" I asked him.

"In a manner of speaking," he conceded. "But not in your manner of speaking!"

I sensed that I needed to think more abstractly. "Well, I suppose that, ultimately, I'm only seeing colours, shapes and movement. Right?"

At this point, Clara, who was sitting nearby, suddenly began to laugh. "It's a trick question, Nancy," she blurted, "and you'll never get it."

I immediately appealed to Darren for a clue, but he remained obstinate. "Is it a solid object?" I then asked, beginning to feel a little stupid.

"Yes and no," he replied.

"Oh, for crying out loud! I have better things to do."

"Hey, wait," he urged, grabbing my arm. "The answer is right there, in front of you."

"All I can see in front of me is bird poop," I told him, focusing on the window itself.

"Okay. But the bird poop isn't just floating in mid-air, is it?"

And with that, finally, the penny dropped.

"You see, Nancy, you've been conditioned to overlook the obvious; to ignore the empty, the transparent, the silent.

And if you adjust your focus again, just slightly, you'll become aware of something even more significant than glass."

"Myself?"

"Yes. Ironic, isn't it? You were initially so preoccupied with the outside world that you failed to acknowledge your own reflection."

"So I flunked the test?"

Clara stood up and walked towards us. "It's not a test," she said. "It's an invitation."

"What are you offering?"

"Nothing that you don't already have."

"So what's the point then?"

"Apparently you can't see what you already have."

"And so, you want to show me, is that it?"

"No. Nobody can show you, Nancy. You have to see it for yourself."

In June, 1968, a baby boy was born in Missouri, Alabama to an unmarried couple, who later gave him up for adoption. By the age of ten he was considered to be a child prodigy, due to his knowledge of science, and was featured in several newspapers and magazines. Following a series of bizarre incidents, however, Tyler's adoptive parents took him to see an exorcist, believing him to be possessed. The subsequent exorcism was considered to be 'unsuccessful'.

Tyler - now calling himself 'Jay' - spent the remainder of his childhood in a mental institution, and most of his teenage years living rough on the streets of Atlanta, Georgia. Then, in his early twenties, Jay re-emerged as a spiritual teacher or 'guru', and quickly garnered a devoted following. His group became known as Delta, and a number of miracles were attributed to its members. In 1994, however, accusations of fraud, money laundering and sexual abuse sent the group underground, where it continued to expand, relatively unnoticed. Darren and Clara were both members of this group.

Meetings were held every Tuesday and Friday at 7:30 pm, and I had been invited to attend one of them, as an observer. What made this particular evening special, however, was that a 'transmission' had been scheduled to take place. These amounted to initiations, essentially, and they occurred whenever a member - in this case, Jamie - had earned the trust of the group, and had proven him or herself to be strong enough, psychologically, to handle the implications of what was being transmitted.

On our way to the meeting, in the car, Darren spoke enthusiastically about what I was about to witness: "Transmission is like nothing you can imagine, Nancy. Forget about all the science-fiction movies you've seen, or the far-out books you may have read. Forget about your wildest acid trips. Forget about all of those mind-blowing quantum theories on the nature of reality. Transmission is the real deal."

"So how does it work? Why is it so powerful?"

"I'll admit, it's just words, at the end of the day. But because those words point to a certain truth, a truth which we've long since forgotten, they cannot help but affect the individual in a dramatic way. That's why we have to be careful. You see, at the heart of Creation is a paradox, which transmission invokes. But most human minds, in their present state, simply can't integrate knowledge of this Truth, this paradox, into their personal reality."

"So what would happen if this knowledge was released to the general public?"

"Who knows. We call it the final solution, however. And the mere threat of it is what sustains the fragile peace between us and... them."

"Them?"

"Those who want to keep this information hidden. You see, a deal was reached: In exchange for our not going public, they've agreed to leave us alone, more or less."

"In other words, you're saying that the elite families have a great little scam going here, on Earth, and they don't want anything to spoil it?"

"On one level."

"And on another level?"

"You have to remember that what you see with your eyes is merely a crude representation of what's actually going on - like the shadows on a wall."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that we'd all do well to turn our attention... elsewhere."

Love is never a relationship. It is, rather, the collapse of relationship, which occurs when the illusion of separation is seen through; when the veil is lifted and we finally experience life as it truly is. Searching for love, therefore, is like looking for darkness with a torch!

That was my understanding, at least, from what was being shared at the meeting. Although, indeed, I may well have derived a similar understanding even in the absence of words, such was the feeling of warmth and unity among the group, with whom I had already begun to bond.

There were sixteen of us altogether, ranging in age from seven to seventy. And, I suspect, covering all classes and income brackets. The house itself, whilst detached, was fairly modest in size, and furnished without pretension. Only a stylised Delta symbol, featured within a small, stained-glass window, gave any hint of the owners' affiliation.

Over more coffee and biscuits it was explained to me that a 'golden thread' ran through the fabric of all the world's religions, and that this thread was most easily grasped through something known as Advaita Vedanta, which posits that we are actually a single consciousness (God), experiencing itself subjectively.

However, by speaking of Advaita as being either 'dry' or 'cold', I got the impression that the group considered it to be a mostly intellectual or philosophical understanding, which rarely became experiential.

A small adjoining room had been set aside for Jamie's initiation and, despite its mystical appearance, which included candles, incense burners and a number of strange-looking mirrors, I was assured that the paraphernalia was actually more about mood than meaning; and that, practically speaking, there was no reason why someone couldn't receive transmission anywhere, at any time, and under any circumstances.

Still, it seemed right that such a significant event in a person's life should be marked with a degree of ceremony. And, indeed, when the moment finally came, we all took it in turns to hug the young neophyte, sprinkle him with salt, and wish him well. It was Darren who had the final word; saying, simply, "this will blow your mind."

What happened next came as a complete surprise, at least to me, because everyone started to leave. "Lovely to have met you," said one lady, kissing me on the cheek. Eventually only Darren, Clara and myself remained, along with the couple who owned the house.

"It's for Jamie's sake," said Clara, perhaps noticing my expression. "He won't want a lot of people around after transmission. That's what we've found, anyway, and it's become something of a custom to do it this way."

I swallowed, hard, when the young lad emerged from the room. For he now looked pale, vacant and somewhat disoriented. Quite a contrast from the vibrant person I'd hugged, just minutes before. Darren had to escort him to the couch, in fact, such was his lack of coordination and general unsteadiness. "I'm fine, guys," he insisted. But clearly he wasn't. I then noticed that he kept shaking his head and muttering to himself, almost inaudibly, "I don't believe it."

"Yeah, it's pretty far-out, huh?" said Clara, picking up on his incredulity.

Jamie said little more though, and eventually fell silent, seemingly lost in his own thoughts. It wasn't what I had expected to see, by any means, but it certainly made a big impression.

I wanted to meet the founder of Delta, and learn more about the original transmission, which he apparently received, telepathically, as a child. Certainly nobody else seemed willing to discuss the matter with me, and I had become a little frustrated, if not downright suspicious.

I was quite surprised, therefore, when Darren casually announced that the founder of Delta was actually on campus, that day, and ready to meet me. I didn't believe him, of course, but nevertheless played along, following him back to the disused room where it had all begun.

"Same window, Nancy. Same question. What do you see?"

"My reflection," I replied, without hesitation.

Darren smiled, somewhat ominously, as if there was nothing more to be said.

"Well, what do I win?"

"Only that which you asked for."

"I don't understand."

"Really? You mean that you've never, for one moment, suspected your true significance in all of this?"

"Darren, you're scaring me. What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that you, Nancy Cardinger, are the founder of Delta. At least in the sense that you were the source of the original transmission, received by Tyler, as a child."

"How would that even be possible?"

"It appears that you are destined to make a scientific breakthrough, in the field of sleep research..."

"Destined? So you're speaking about the future now?"

"Right. Only, it's more than just a breakthrough. It's a discovery which changes everything. Hence, it was violently suppressed. You yourself were kidnapped, for example, flown to the United States, and forced to continue your work at gunpoint."

"So you're saying that I sent a message back in time?"

"Not exactly. In fact, you weren't even aware that such a thing was possible, as far as we can tell. No, you simply intended to contact the outside world, through the body of one of your subjects, in the present - your present."

"How?"

"By accessing the source field, which we all return to in deep sleep. This is where it gets complicated, however, because the source field is a timeless dimension. In fact, it has no dimensions at all. And so, from there, what we experience as time and space are merely numerical coordinates. So whilst you succeeded in transmitting your research to the test subject, as he slept, he actually received the information in his past; in his childhood, in fact. But, in any case, what's important is that your research revealed the ultimate unity of consciousness, as well as the delta paradox itself."

"What is it though, exactly? What is this delta paradox?"

"First, you need to consider your nightly dreams, which take place in a single dimension - that of time. They do not occur in space. And yet, in this one dimension, you actually experience a three-dimensional reality, right? Now, consider the fact that deep sleep takes place in a dimensionless void. In other words, it's not bound by time, space or any other limitations. And yet all dimensions can and do exist within it. Are you with me so far?"

"Kind of."

"Well, do you remember your dreams last night?"

"Er... something about an old house, I think."

"Okay. And do you remember what happened in deep sleep?"

"No, of course not."

"Right. But it's not because nothing happened. You see, memory references the past, whereas dimensionless presence, which is where deep sleep occurs, can only ever be experienced 'now'. That's how waking reality differs from dreams, which are generally only interpreted as dreams after they've occurred, and in relation to something else. That is to say, in relation to now."

"Run that by me again. I mean, if you're saying that people are aware during deep sleep, then why can't they remember what happened?"

"They can't remember what happened because deep sleep can only ever be experienced in the present moment. Do you see what that implies? That's the paradox. Come on, Nancy, you're a smart girl. Where do you think you are right now?"

"Wait! ...What?"