The Unworthy One

The Unworthy One

A Poem by Dawn Jones
"

To the girl who broke my heart... and yet still owns it...

"

There was a time

When her smile shone as brightly as the sun

And I thought that I was the unworthy one

 

There was a time

That she was glory personified

Heavens angel come from the skies

And I thought that I was the unworthy one

 

There was a time

When I gave to her the gift of immortality

Loving her with all of this poet’s heart

And I thought that I was the unworthy one

 

There was a time

I asked her, please, do not break my heart

And she promised with a smile

And I thought that I was the unworthy one

 

Now

To my hearts bitter distain

I find that she was the unworthy one

And I was the shining sun

But how do I shine without her?

© 2010 Dawn Jones


Author's Note

Dawn Jones
It seems we are always asking those we love to be gentle with our hearts, and yet it seems they are incapable.

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Featured Review

It's amazing how things can turn from right to wrong, so quickly. And yet, if you're still wondering how the sun will shine without her, then that love did, come with no conditions, and it was real.

This was great Dawn, I'm glad I got t read it.
Antonio :)


Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I love how every last line is "And I thought that I was the unworthy one" and then you realise you weren't the unworthy one, she is.

Beautiful & heartbreaking at the same time. It's definitely her loss.

Posted 13 Years Ago


Dawn, you have a talent, you are very great at conveying words poetically. It's a great poem showing a relationship where the tables are turned so quickly. I have been there. Where we almost look up to this person, think we are not worthy of them, that they are "above" us, but really, they are UNWORTHY of us!!! I don't know if that was what you were trying to convey, but....that's how I felt with my last relationship. great job!!!

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It's amazing how things can turn from right to wrong, so quickly. And yet, if you're still wondering how the sun will shine without her, then that love did, come with no conditions, and it was real.

This was great Dawn, I'm glad I got t read it.
Antonio :)


Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

i like the movement in the poem, the words are simple and great . I like that in a poem

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

With a muse like that, it would be impossible to shine furthermore. Wonderfully done with a gracious simplicity. One question, did you mean "distain" or "disdain" there. Both will do, but was just curious. Kudos.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I remember feeling unworthy and as if she was the sun, moon and stars of my world. It must be impossible to have to live up to such an expectation thou. People promise to be gentle and at the time they mean it, but over time a promise is changed into something less or forgotten. It is great at the end of the poem it is realized that you are the worthy one, something that should have been realized in the beginning. Shinning without her is something that will occur one way or the other. Wonderful write.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

If love be a game of domination then this is a more than suitable testament for those who are crushed and enslaved by their own hearts. Very well written. Kudos:)

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I am always intrigued when a poet plays with (the word) immortality. Whitman did it, and it proved true. How many others have done the same. I certainly cannot tell.

Personally (not to be mistaken for actual fact) the last line could be stronger. Perhaps something like "who am I shining on now?" Although, if you could end it with the reader asking a question instead of reading one, then your piece would be all the more amazing!

Posted 14 Years Ago


You've always shone if that's even a real word. I will annihilate your phone with messages if I have to in order to get you to understand you are amazing and you know it and regardless of what she made you feel like in the end she put a knife in your heart and lied to you. This work clearly shows that and it's amazingly simple yet has the capability to show in a few words months of admiration turned into bitter hurt.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on May 18, 2010
Last Updated on May 18, 2010

Author

Dawn Jones
Dawn Jones

La bocca dell'inferno



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