Your Side

Your side of the bed is warm because I'm sleeping in it. It makes me feel closer to you, less alone. I miss you so desperately, I feel like my body could collapse in on itself because you took my heart with you when you left and without it the rest has fallen apart. 

I should know by now that you're not coming back but I'm stubborn like that. I wear the shirt you left behind to sleep in. I use your mug. I cook things the way you like in case you come back. I like seeing your things around the house, it's as if you just went to the shop and you'll be back any minute. 

I still call you, leave you messages, just in case. You're never going to get any of them but it's nice to imagine you're there. Sometimes I talk to you, out loud. I even think I see you around but my new therapist says its my mind playing tricks on me, she tried to teach me how to make it stop but I didn't want to know. I argue with you, laugh with you, tell you about my day. I tell you everything. 

I haven't been with anyone else since, people keep trying to set me up on dates but I've never been. I imagine you have, hundreds of beautiful women where you've gone. 

I'll see you soon, you know. They all know, people come to check on me and make sure I'm still here, they know they can't stop me though. I'll be in heaven with you soon my love.