Winged

blurb.

There is a sort of stillness in this noise

in the soft spoken voices of the children

climbing for their lives, playing with toys

not meant for them. Poison tipped daggers

and knives, hidden behind backs.

And they, who were once weaker,

armed with no iron or steel

are those who reach the top of the mountain

and spread their wings. 

Author's Note

My poems NEVER go in the direction I want them.

Reviews

[R.O.M.E.T.S.I.]

I really liked this. I don't know, something about wings metephors. Maybe I'm looking to spread my wings. :) anyway, it went in a totally different direction than I expected, and I'm not sure I get all of it, but I think I understand the main idea and it's great. Yet another one of your amazing poems.

[caesarkreshen]

woh. I was looking at a friend's friendlist. (stalkerme) and saw this. Weirdly, the beginning reminds me of the beginning of something I wrote.

"There is a certain silence
a sick comfort the
soft voices of teenaged
girls pausing only
to giggle or glance
sideways as a cute
guy walks by."

Anyway, hmhmhm. I think this poem begins to unravel when you start saying Poison tipped daggers. I don't think poems should go in the direction you want them to, just write and have fun.

I would, if I were you, rewrite this. Write the words on a paper from the beginning to not meant for them, and see if you don't keep writing something different. Just my suggestion. Havefun.

[Alm]

Thank you :D I looked back on this and realized that. Maybe that's why I didn't like it too much in the first place. I'm gonna do that later and repost the new version :P

Again, thanks for the review, it made me happy. :)

-Alm

[Legolas]

Very interesting poem. I enjoyed it. It may have not gone the way you wanted but it is still a great poem.

[Alm]

asdfghjkl. I forgot to thank you. I'm sorry :<

[Legolas]

It's ok.