A Midnight Poem

written by the insomniac

Do you remember standing by the river last year?

When your hand intertwined with mine, like hand holding s***s

and I know it's cliche, but back then when I didn't have the guts

To say how you elevated me to the next level

I hope you know you were dead special

And when you showed me your cuts I wish I'd tried to discuss

to help you instead of skate around the topic

I must have made you feel microscopic

Now all I've left is 26 tools to try to apologize

I'm so sorry I broke ties, I can't meet your eyes.

I was so scared of what you would do

If we went forward and I let you through

my shell, because though I hate it I'm weak

I'm a freak when I speak

no matter how much I seek to say what I mean

My words get jumbled up till they're too bleak to recognize.

I'm not nice, I've tried to end my own life once or twice

everything I touch is poison and I should have known you weren't an exception

by now it's too late to ask for redemption

I just need one more late night by the creek with you

before you'd withdrew

at the same time, I know you deserve better

I don't know why I wrote this scarlet letter

You mean the world to me even if we're no longer together

or you did

amid all the chaos something was lost

the light seemed to dim

making my eyes spill over the rim

You see I don't make friends easy

When I try to talk to new people my lungs get queasy

Staring back at their beady eyes so busy and needy

makes me dizzy

Sometimes I think I'm from another species

One that's defense mechanism is to have my brain turn to feces when someone sees me

And I'm so alone, I have a place, but no one to call home

Poetry just distracted me from sadness like a dog with a dry bone

Now is a quarter to twelve

And I'm checking out my memories of you from my brains old dusty shelve

The pages are a little torn

But within in them, you smile at me, though I notice it's worn

wondering what might have happened if we'd worked things out

Inviting my doubt to take a seat in my house

Imagine waking up next to you

But my bed is cold and hearts turned blue

I know it sounds greedy

but I wonder If you're imagining us to

Author's Note

true story poem

Reviews

[Bala Gorthi]

Sometimes we realize later. It happens with all. Nicely written craft.

[whyamihere]

Thank you so much!