Unrequited Love

My love for him, it's too much, too much that I can't even believe it. Too much love hurts, hurts really bad, I can't even describe it.

        Love is a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person, a feeling of warm personal attachment as for a parent, child, or friend. But my love for him is different, too different. I didn't know his feeling towards me, I didn't know what I meant to him. Was I just a good friend or did he felt something for me as I did for him? I thought my feelings would someday be out and yelled to the world to know. It was too fake, too unreal, I was dumb, I was dreaming too much. 

           "I don't think we should see each other anymore," That's what you said when my feelings toward you were finally spoken. I cried, I cried for you, but mostly I cried because your feelings weren't returned. But what can I do? I can't change your mind nor your feelings. It's funny how you don't want to see me but yet, I still feel crazy butterflies on my stomach every time I think of you.

          Is it so bad to love you? Did I not prove you that I could be more than a friend to you? I might sound crazy, I know. I'm sorry for loving this way, but mostly, I'm sorry for loving you this way. That affection that you gave me when you hugged me, I felt loved, I felt saved. But apparently five years of friendship weren't enough for me to prove you that I didn't want just friendship between us. 

           Thank you for throwing away everything for the simple three words of "I love you," That's what I said, but you laughed and told me that I was your best friend, soon enough, when I explained what I meant, you didn't even wanted to see me again. That's cruel, that's harsh, that's not even friendship. I sometimes wonder how cruel people like you can be loved so much by someone like me. I don't hate you for not loving me, actually I don't hate you at all, I'm just disappointed, disgusted of your coward actions and words. 

       Time had past, finally over the love I had for you, realizing that you weren't the only one. You weren't the best or the most, not even my brave prince. You were just another crush of mine that broke my heart once again. Yes, guys have broken my heart, but not as much as you. You damaged it, marked it over with your fingertips while destroying it. But those marks are easily erase by someone else's heart. "Why do you do this?" I asked you as you stand in front of me as if nothing ever happened, "Because I have realized that, I love you," you said it, you said you loved me, so sad. I have no feelings for you anymore, "Isn't it too late for that?" I asked "It's never too late to love," I laughed as you said that. I can't believe I was ever a friend to someone like you, such a coward, weakling guy, "My love doesn't correspond to you any longer," I lied and walked away, like you did when I heard your last words a year ago. 

         Believe it or not, I love him, yes. I still love him after so much time. Some people would call this, obsessed or love sick, call it all you want, for me it's true love, true love that probably will end up dying with me. I have to be strong, I can't go back to him to show my weak side as he did for me, but sadly I am not that kind of girl. I, Kanessy James, am noticed that I probably sound ridiculous or a coward such as he is, or maybe I call him the way I shall call myself. I am a weakling, coward, dumb, love sick fool. I know that, that's why I let him go, that's why I lie about my feelings toward him, towards love.

Author's Note

Thank you so much for those who read it. I know this is... confusing? Maybe, but I wanted to post something like this for a long time. Take note that this is a fictional short story, not real, neither are the characters. Please give me some feedback, I would appreciate it very much. More writing from me will be posted, I shall please myself by doing so, and hopefully you guys agree.