She Keeps Us Here

The girl woke up lying on her back, cushioned by the soft grass underneath her. She turned over and pushed herself off the ground. Where was she? Green grass was the only thing she could see, stretching out in all directions. The clear blue sky seemed to stretch out in all directions, and it seemed to be never ending. It was light out, despite lacking a sun. Looking straight up at the wide, blue vastness made her dizzy and she had to sit down.

Was this a dream?

The girl pinched herself. The scenery around her didn’t change.She closed her eyes and pinched herself hard enough to draw blood. She opened them again and stared out into the endless sea of grass and open sky. A cool breeze floated across the fields, played with the girl’s hair, and floated away.

She once more found herself staring at the empty blue sky and she swore it stared back.

The woman waits beneath the grass, her rotting flesh tainting the soil around her.

The girl got up and turned around slowly in a full circle, until she thought she could see a tiny dot in the distance. The girl walked towards the thing in the distance. She found herself enjoying the feel of the green grass between her bare feet and for the first time noticed she was wearing nothing but her pajamas. The air smelled like fresh cut grass and despite the feeling of wrongness that seemed to hang over the girl, she found this place beautiful. The girl tripped over something and fell into the soft green grass, her toe throbbing in pain.

The woman waits beneath the grass, her rotting flesh infecting the soil around her.

The girl got up and retraced her steps to where she fell. She thought she saw something black sink back into the grass

The woman waits beneath the grass

 but after an empty investigation, she chalked it up to clumsiness. The girl continued walking to whatever was in the distance. It got bigger and bigger until she could make out what it was. It was a tombstone. It was sticking out of the green grass and looked fairly new. The girl crouched down to examine the tombstone and read it out loud.

“She keeps us here, “ The girl read. Little did she know the power those four words had. As soon as those words left her lips, her vision blurred and the world turned into a nightmarish version of what it had once been. The air smelt of rot and decay.  All the colors inverted and the girl could hear screams. 

The screams of children.

She Keeps Us Here

The girl fell onto her knees, covering her ears. The screams were deafening and painful. A loud thunderous boom could be heard and the girl blacked out in the grass.

The woman waits beneath the grass, her rotting flesh poisoning the soil around her.

The girl opened her eyes. She saw the clear blue sky. She almost screamed, but it never left her lips. Her throat hurt and her head was throbbing. She felt like something had changed, although she didn’t know what. It was like she wasn’t in the same place anymore, but rather a copy of it. No… that wasn’t it. It was like she had triggered something, but she couldn’t quite place a finger on it.The girl assumed this was some sort of lucid nightmare. She felt something wet trickled down from her ear. She instinctively touched it. Her hand came away red. Her ears were bleeding. The girl heard the static of a television. She got up and saw something dark move out of the corner of her eye. The girl turned around and saw what was making the static sound. She froze the way a rabbit does when a predator is nearby. Undiluted fear spread through her body.

The thing had shiny black skin. It had no facial features except two eyes that were surprisingly human. The eyes seemed to pop out of its face, as it was lacking eyelids. It’s limbs seemed to be too long for its body and the hands were being dragged behind it. It was almost eight feet tall and seemed to produce a static sound. It did not seem to notice the girl as it twitched and spasmed as it walked, moving in fast, jerky motions. 

The girl crouched down behind the tombstone, hoping that whatever that thing was wouldn’t notice her. Her small frame was well hidden by the tombstone, but she knew in her heart that if the creature were to turn her way, it would know that she was there. A small breeze tickled her ear and made its way in the creature’s direction. The creature stopped twitching and spasming. It cocked it’s head as if it was listening to something… or someone. The creature let out a primal, animal-like scream. It bounded in the opposite direction, too fast for the girl’s eyes to follow. The girl realized that running away from the creature wouldn't be an option if the creature became aware of her presence. The girl slowly left her small hiding spot and observed her surroundings. Just grass in all directions. 

The girl felt helpless. She was certain that she was going to die in this place, wherever this was. The girl began to cry. Tears rolled down her face as she sobbed. A single teardrop landed on the grass. The grass where the teardrop had landed started to die, turning brown and dry.

“Quit it! You are gonna wake her up and that’s the last thing any of us need!”

The girl turned around quickly towards the source of the angry whisper. There was no one behind her. The girl looked around, confused.

“Down here!” The voice whispered.

The girl looked down to find a boy’s face emerge from the grass. The face belonged to a nine year old boy with freckles and red hair. The girl stumbled back with fear.

“Calm down, now, won’t ya? I ain’t gonna hurt you!” The boy assured her. They studied each other for a few seconds. The boy looked surprisingly familiar.

“You don’t belong here, don’t ya?” The boy eventually said. The girl shook her head. A sound caught her attention. Static. The boy’s face turned to one of fear.

“Grab my hand. I will take you to where you need to go to get out of here, but you have to hurry before he sees you,” The boy said. A hand emerged from the ground, the grass parting as he held his hand out. The girl hesitated. The static sound seemed to be getting louder. She looked back at the boy and figured she could trust him. The girl grabbed his hand and he pulled her down. She thought that she was going to faceplant into the ground but instead found herself being pulled through the soil as if it was water. Cold dirt filled her mouth and nostrils.

She and the boy fell into a dark room. The girl brushed herself off and spat out a mouthful of dirt. She tried to study her surroundings but it was too dark. She could only smell the rich scent of spring soil.

“Oh! Sorry, I forgot you can’t see in the dark. Here!” The boy said. There was a click and the room was lit up by an electric lantern. The room was entirely made of dirt. Parts and pieces of machinery littered the room, as well as little knick knacks. She saw parts of dolls and other toys littering the floor too. The girl wondered what all of this stuff was doing in here.The boy held up the lantern and smiled encouragingly at her, his toothy grin brighter than the lantern.

“What’s your name?” he asked. The girl found that she could not remember her name. She began to panic as she realized that she couldn’t remember anything that had happened before she woke up. Names, places, memories. Nothing. Just an empty black void of Nothing.The boy looked at her panicked expression and looked embarrassed.

“My bad. I forgot you don’t have any memories here, “ he said. The girl tried to speak and found that she couldn’t. She tried to make words but couldn’t turn them into sound. She tried harder and choked on the words. She looked at the boy desperately.

“You also can’t speak here either. Listen, we don’t have much time to get out of here. Your tears seemed to have woken her a bit early and once she is awake you won’t be able to leave. We better get going, “ the boy said. The girl tried to ask him who she had awakened but found that she, again, couldn’t. She wanted to ask him where they were, what this place was called, and most of all what was that thing she saw? The boy seemed to realize what she was trying to say.

“It doesn’t matter. You will be leaving soon and once you do, you won’t remember any of this. Now come on, we have to go.”

The boy led her out of the room into a long hallway made of dirt. The ceiling, walls, and floor were made out of dirt and it was too dark to see the end of the hallway. 

“Did you see any other children while you were out there?”, the boy asked while they were walking. The girl shook her head and the boy’s face fell. She could tell that he had lost someone important to him. She wanted to tell him about that creature she saw outside but couldn’t make the words. So, they walked in silence. The smell of soil was overwhelming. The girl didn’t see any bugs or any other signs of life. Then she remembered what the boy had said. You don’t have any memories here. What made her different from him? 

The girl thought about this as they walked. He didn’t seem dead. He was lanky and wore a dirt stained T-shirt and jeans. He was also barefoot. How long has he been here? The girl felt trust for this boy. Finally, they came across a dead end. A wall of dirt. The girl gave the boy a quizzical look but he didn’t pay her any attention. He just grabbed her hand and pulled her through the wall. Then, she was yanked up through the dirt and found herself in a hallway with a set of dirt stairs. Light came in from the top of the stairs, which the boy was already climbing with haste.

The girl ascended, trying to keep up with the boy. Finally, she reached the top and found herself in a grassy field again. This time, an oak tree sprouted from the ground in front of them. The boy grinned at her.

“Neat, huh?” He said. The grin slowly fell away as something screamed in the distance. A chill made its way up the girl’s back. Their presence had been noticed.. The girl couldn’t see the creature but remembered it’s terrifying speed. She knew that they didn’t have much time. The boy grabbed her hand and pointed at the tree.

“Touch the trunk. It will take you away from here.”

The girl gave him a look. Why didn’t he go with her? He seemed to understand and gave her a small smile.

“I am not allowed to leave. She keeps me here. But it’s not too late for you.”

With that, he shoved her towards the tree as something black slammed into his body, sending it flying a few feet before landing with a sickening crunch. The girl lurched for the tree and touched it. The creature regarded her. The girl waited to be carried from this world, but it didn’t happen. With amazing speed, the creature grabbed the boy. His arm seemed to be twisted in an awkward angle, but he showed no signs of pain.  It held him by his neck and turned towards the girl. Then the girl heard the sound of branches snapping as something wrapped itself around her wrist. 

The girl turned around and saw that the tree branches had wrapped itself around her wrist. The girl choked on her scream as it wrapped itself tighter around her wrist.She tried to escape it’s grasp but it was too strong.

The woman waits beneath the grass, her rotting flesh awakening the soil around her.

Then, the tree flung her into the sky with a loud SNAP as the branches moved with excessive force. The girl tried to scream as she went airborne, but nothing came out. She swore she heard an angry roar below her but the terror that gripped her took most of her attention. Her vision went black. The girl slowly regained consciousness. She was lying down in a bed. The girl looked around. It was a hospital bed. She felt like screaming. She didn’t know why, she couldn’t remember the reason if there was one, but she let out a loud scream. Immediately, nurses came into her room and began calming her down and checking her vitals.

“Where am I? What happened?” She cried. One of the nurses crouched down so that she was eye level. 

“You, your brother, and your parents were in a car accident, honey, “ the nurse said.

“Where are they now?”

“Your parent’s didn’t make it. And your brother is in a coma, “ the nurse said and held the girl’s hand as she started to cry. The girl remembered her name. It was Allison. Of course she had remembered her name. Why wouldn’t she remember her name? The girl cried at the death of her parents and the thought of her nine year old brother in a coma. She remembered her brother’s red hair and freckles. She remembered playing tag with him when they were kids. How could this have happened to her? What had she done to deserve this? 

Allison recovered and was eventually allowed to visit her brother. She cried at the site of his frail, skinny body on the hospital bed.  The nurses gave her some space and waited outside of the door. They were alone except for the steady beat of the heart rate monitor. Allison kissed her brother on the cheek. Her brother, David, muttered something. Allison couldn’t make out what it was. She leaned closer as he muttered something again and felt something deep inside her recoil in horror at the four words.

“She keeps us here, “ her brother mumbled. 

The woman beneath the grass awoke and her rotting flesh began to burn the soil around her.

Author's Note

Update 2.0

Reviews

[Nathan Cavaliere]

Well, that was quite a fascinating story. And one which I expect is deeply symbolic. An interesting mood you have here that is both despairing and hopeful at the same time, and the reader can really feel the emotional uncertainty and mental turmoil that the character feels. Normally it is a literary no-no if there is an uncertain mood, but given the plotline, it only made sense. Characters are a little simple and one-dimensional, but they are children, so that is really only reasonable.

One thing I think you should work on is your language though. Your plot is excellent, and I especially found it genius how you never showed your true evil until later, and I wouldn't change much about that. But regardless, the descriptions at some points I felt were lacking. Horror thrives when the audience feels like they are amidst everything that is occurring, and sensing everything the character senses. Also, you focused a little too much on the sense of sight. It would really help if I got a very vivid picture of what was going on, especially if the sense of smell is involved.

Great story you have here, but given the mood, it seems to warrant a little more flavourful language to spruce things up. This seems a little too much like an overview than a fully written story. A lot of potential you have here.

Also, for some reason I cannot explain, this reminded me of Minecraft. Something about the flat land, open skies, ease of underground travel, childish characters, and the creature that looked like an enderman made me draw some associations. Wonder if that was intentional on your part.

[ItStaredBack]

Thank you for the honest review! I was actually inspired by the default microsoft XP backround, which had blue skies and green grass. I was going for the horror of being out in the open, with little places to hide. And I agree with your comment about sensory detail. I will be sure to edit the story. Again, appreciate the comment! It's these type of comments that help me improve my writing, after all.

[Nathan Cavaliere]

I have to admit, the default microsoft background does look a little menacing now that I think about it. It makes me wonder what is beyond the view of the screen that is casting those ominous shadows.

I personally actually really liked the environment being so open and bright rather than something more Gothic. It seemed to create a confusion of mood for the character that made an excellent emotional experience.

The only thing that spoiled it is because I was getting so many Minecraft vibes from it. I mean seriously, that monster looked and sounded squarely like an enderman. I am guessing you where inspired by Slenderman or a cryptid of the like, which would make sense why the creature is like that. And how quickly they where able to build and travel through underground in a complete dirt realm didn't help either. Not sure what you could do to stop that association without drastically editing the story though. Maybe change around the underground scenery a little to something more Gothic and less abrren? Or maybe just don't bring it up and hope they never reach the conclusion I did.

[ItStaredBack]

haha i just read the comment. I was not thinking of an enderman but now that you mention it, I can't get it out of my head.