Unsettledness Within

So sick of the silence, the fear, the pain , the debilitation.

Existing in this world, alone, not alone. Lost, but not lost. Maybe it's all a hallucination.

Terrified, but used to dealing with the manipulation.

It's sad to say, but it's a common expectation.

Some days I feel like I can't see past the fog, and I pray for it's evaporation.

DON'T pray for that! Instead, pray for compensation.

I feel I am slowly losing inspiration.

Tugging at me from behind and filling my head with negative, is temptation.

I try to move toward what I know is positive affirmation.

I wish also for the times in my life when I need it, that I will get validation.

That said, I seek these positive things within myself first, and aim for reparation.

I find within, this can lead and cause much frustration.

I also tend to experience alienation.

My life is lived by determination.

Can't just subscribe to a list for a cancellation.

Put myself through my own test of certification 

and sometimes this requires, self-education.

Don't deserve to be put through condemnation.

It's an ongoing battle to maintain or even try to reach self-preservation.

Exploration; finding out there's deceitfulness in an organization.

Discrimination and problems with legislation.

Tired of feeling and hearing about the affects of past violation.

It is sometimes scary and painful to have certain revelations.

People using all they can for justification.

Just be honest. that's my recommendation.

Rarely do I feel people's true appreciation,

I feel it's often just a fabrication.

It pains me to think I'm not doing all I need to be,

in order to successfully or rather, "perfectly", reach my "destination".

For that, I feel more than just humiliation.

I am trying to be the best me that I can in this civilization.

I hope and believe it won't end in devastation.

There are a number of perspectives in any given situation.

Just like the way we may view the many stars in space, creating a constellation.

I feel at a loss without my own transportation.

It was a huge part of what helped save me, and escape from my location and deadly equation.

I have lost or at least temporarily lost some things and gained some new things from life's combinations.

Hoping to work through this with the co-operation of my living spirits, re-creation, utilization and examination/exploration. 

Here's to the future,

Hope, faith and patience.

Reviews

[Mia]

I am not really a fan of poetry that rhymes so blatantly, nothing wrong with it…it is just boils down to personal preference. I feel like the focus is shifted from the emotion and the ability to connect to choosing the word that fits the rhyme scheme the best. Still this piece is filled with confliction…it was almost as if I was witnessing a downward spiral…in the beginning there was shreds of hope and as the poem progressed the hope was fading. In trying to fight the negative…the negative became the focus of the mind which caused more negativity. But the end, I was so disconnected to the ending because I felt like it was only said to salvage the last bit of light in a very very dark place…
“Here's to the future,
Hope, faith and patience.”
It was ironic in a way, whether or not you meant it to be…I thought it was very clever. I really did enjoy this poem and the way I felt compelled to think about what was written.