Dear

One of the stories in my memoir that I'm working on.

Dear;

Hello, and how are you? Well, I guess if God is true and just than you are surely doing ok. You are with him now. I was just sitting here thinking about you and all that you could have been. But also thinking about all that you were. How can a life unborn bring so much joy, love, happiness? Just thinking about you brought a wave of thoughts. Sadly, some of those thoughts were negative. And it was the negatives that led me and your mom to do what we felt we had to do.

We didn’t know what to do. We were so young and stupid. I know you shouldn’t have paid the ultimate price for our lust and hormones on the fast track. Your parents were just trying to have fun. We were just doing what other teenagers were doing. But we were the ones whose life went from stupid teenagers to stupid parents. If we stayed the course and you came into this world, I don’t think you would have had a good existence. Your life would have been comparable to a starving child in Africa.

Your momma’s parents would not have accepted you. Because you were blessed to be born into the merging of royal bloodlines. Yes, you were born into the line of white American history and African �"American kingdom. But as great as that was, it would not have been enough to give you the life you deserve.

Your parents still had 2 years of high school. Both of our families were poor and mentally unstable. You would have been the product of a broken family. My dad was not the greatest dad. Not by a long shot. But at least he was able to provide for me. I can’t even buy you a bib.I had my own mental deficiencies to work through; I couldn’t bear to put that on you. I couldn’t be another deadbeat dad with his hand held out hoping for meager crumbs from the state. So many times those children are born with the odds stacked against them. So many times those kids end up in the system, in crime, statistics, and incarceration. I needed to be able to give you what I started with. An honest chance to succeed but I couldn’t.

The day your life ended, a part of mine ended also.So many times I have thought about what should be and what could have been. But I can’t bring you back!

If I ever get the chance to have the responsibility to raise a child? I will raise him or her with you in mind.