Eyes

A poem about my true love.

 

Eyes

Justin Guidroz

 

Her eyes tell the story

of one thousands heartbreaks

and of a thousand happy moments,

some on rainy days,

others on a winter night,

of wisdom gained,

of friends lost.

Brown eyes of beauty,

holding the pain of lost and regret,

yet shining in the bliss of love.

I’ve swam through her memories,

weaving in and out like a silver dove,

memories of us in love together,

some in need of distance from each other.

But in the end, it’s her eyes

that I can fall into

for eternity more.

Reviews

[MissDragon]

i think its amazing!

[Sarah]

Love it! Especially the "silver dove" image - very pretty. :) :) The word "swam" sticks out though, and is a bit distracting. I'm not sure if that's the right word, it probably is XD, but I dunno... it doesn't really sit right with me. Otherwise, very pretty poem, beautiful imagery, I loved reading this. =)

[CLUTZ]

I like it. i can picture her eyes, very nice

[OutToLunch]

"I've swam through her memories," should be: "I've swum through her memories," you know, "swim, swam, swum"?

anyway, that's the only correction. other than that this piece is well done! keep it up, and thank you for asking me to read this! ;3

[Fear Corrupts!]

Hmm...well, I'm going to just be honest with you- love poems reallly aren't my thing, so I have NOO idea what to look for in them.
As far as I'm concerned, this is good, and as long as as you think that you did a good job 'conveying your feelings', than it is great.
Good job, I guess.
Well said?

P.S. I can definitely complement the imagery, for sure.