Renewal By: J.L. Jacobs © 2016 (Poem)

This is a poem about a person suffering from depression and it only took one person to care enough to bring her back from the brink of suicide to fight her battle with depression.

For a long time the silence has taken over me.

It took a strong voice to make me see I was just an empty void.

There was no substance.

There was no laughter.

There was no hope.

I was just a shell of a body with an empty soul.

I was not happy.

I had no goals.

I had no life.

My world had been shattered, leaving me broken and in pieces.

I was left with painful memories etched into the very fiber of my being.

Then I wept.

Then I screamed.

Then I crumbled.

Until one day when someone came and picked me up.

I was finally held.

I was finally hugged.

I was finally heard.

Slowly over time I began to change and I started to remember.

Life goes on.

Life is short. 

Life is precious.

... and that became my renewal.

Author's Note

After I received the first review on this poem, I figured I would explain WHY I wrote it. First of all, I do suffer from severe depression and nothing in this poem is disregarding "any form of depression." At the end of the poem, I write about someone coming along who picked me up. After suffering for a long time with seriously severe depression, it took one person to recognize that and CARE enough to hug me and listen to me. It took that one person to make me see that I wasn't alone, that I was loved, and that life was worth fighting my depression for. I never said that ONE person cured my depression. I just wrote that it slowly allowed me to remember that, over time, life is short, precious and worth living. My "renewal" simply signifies that I was no longer suicidal and would continue to fight my battle with depression. I thought I needed to clarify that after the review "ThePaperPrincess" gave me along with her "big fuck you" to me for what I wrote.

Reviews

[Erainor]

Wow, this poem was nicely written. Your prose flows well and as a reader, I understood what you had to say. I liked this work. Look forward to reading more of it soon. Thanks for accepting my friend request. I'm new to writing but will be posting some of my work soon that I hope you'll take a look at and perhaps review.

[ThePaperPrincess]

I call bullshit on the sentiment. I'm sorry but when you have depression meeting someone isn't going to just suddenly change you to be happy. It doesn't f*****g work like that. Depression isn't cured that easily. Hugging doesn't take it all away. Honestly the more I read this the angrier I get. I have depression. Not the self-diagnosed BS that it seems everyone and their uncle has. I suffer from major depression and it's not just going to take someone to hug me to make it all go away and seem like rainbows and butterfly. There is no back to normal. Its a constant battle. A constant fight.

Also a big F**K YOU for saying "bring her back to normal." I'm not an abnormal freak because of my mental illness. It disgusts me that you're treating serious mental illness like a trivial problem..

technically your writing isn't horrible, but your premise is the most disgustingly putrid piece of s**t I've read.

[JL Jacobs]

First of all, you're missing the meaning of the message I wrote. I DO suffer from severe depression, and you would see that from my other poems on here, and it's not the bullshit kind either! I've had very traumatic things happen to me and it's been nothing but a battle. Writing is my therapy so hearing such a negative rant like yours is beyond inexcusable. If you don't like it, then fine. Leave it at that. But like I said, you missed the inner message completely. What I was writing about is that, for ME, it took one person who recognized how seriously bad off I was to give me the hope that I had been lacking before BECAUSE no one bothered to care enough before. Did I say it was a cure for that depression? No! I only said it gave me a new outlook on life instead of wanting to just end it all like before. The battle with it isn't over but it took ONE person (in my life btw, not YOURS) who took the time to let me see that I needed a new outlook. I needed to inject more positivity. I needed to not give up. As quoted from what I wrote: "Until one day when someone came and picked me up.

I was finally held.

I was finally hugged.

I was finally heard.

Slowly over time I began to change and I started to remember.

Life goes on.

Life is short.

Life is precious.

... and that became my renewal."

SLOWLY after time I began to change and remember that life was worth living.

Sheesh.... your entitled to your opinion but seriously? Do something better with your time. Additionally, read things better before you inject such a blatant display of negativity and don't make assumptions that the writer you are shredding apart with your reviews isn't someone who does/does not suffer from such a serious medical condition. Because I DO and it's people like YOU who make it worse to deal with!

[ThePaperPrincess]

If you are so fragile that you can't take criticism then you shouldn't have the option for reviews. Don't blame me for what you're like.

[JL Jacobs]

PS- @ThePaperPrincess, I never once said anything about "bring her back to normal" so I DO NOT appreciate the "big F**K YOU" you gave me. I also never once said you were an abnormal freak, nor did anything in this poem imply that you, or anyone with depression, is one! AND I CERTAINLY AM NOT TREATING DEPRESSION AS A TRIVIAL PROBLEM! I could turn it all around and give you a "big f**k you" right back for mis-interpreting the meaning of my poem but I am not as crass as you.

[ThePaperPrincess]

read the descryiption YOU wrote....you seriously can't be that dumb.

[ThePaperPrincess]

*description

[JL Jacobs]

I am not fragile and boy do you have a serious issue with attacking people you know nothing about. I suppose that's how you get your kicks... but it shows all the people on here your true colors. Think on that for a moment. I am just fine with who I am and what I choose to write because it's my work and if you go along giving people such vulgar reviews on here because you misinterpret what they write, that is also on you. As a person who says they suffer from severe depression, you'd think you'd be a little less critical of others. But I could care less. Do as you will and say what you want. You're only making yourself look bad in the process. I just happen to think that your review was completely unwarranted. What if someone had written something like that about something you wrote and they missed the entire meaning of your words? Sometimes you need to really take a step back and think before you act. This whole review process works two ways. Not that I would ever stoop so low as to be as negative, crass, and vulgar, nor would I EVER attack another writer because of their work. I guess that's the obvious difference between you and me.... have fun with that type of negative and awful demeanor. I'm sure you'll make lots of friends that way, lol.

[ThePaperPrincess]

lol alright then. I don't have anymore time to waste on someone like you.

[Erainor]

Holy crap! J.L. Jacobs, don't waste your time on such bullshit comments. I am completely blown away about that persons review and disagree with it 100%. I did not get what she was taking from your poem. She obviously has some deeply rooted issues and I would just ignore her review. I can see that it bothered you but don't let it. And bravo for standing up for yourself. Well done my dear. I look forward to reviewing more of your poetry. Thank you for sharing such a personal poem like this. Lots of people suffer with battle of their own and I agree when you said that someone's work should not be judged so harshly. I found princess's review to have been appalling. So appaling that I will

[Erainor]

-- that I will not ever read her work. Heck, people like her should be reported. There's a big difference between not liking a poem and another by going on such an attack towards you like that. Yes, your right, she showed her true colors.

[ThePaperPrincess]

This poem will ALWAYS be about deriving your happiness from another person to me. Which is not how you cure depression, not that there could ever be a cure.

She wrote ORIGINALLY that this person "brought her back to normal" as if mental illness made you abnormal in some sort of way. Since then she has edited it. So I would consider myself an aide to her so that she can more clearly articulate what in the hell she is talking about.

[ThePaperPrincess]

Also a big laugh to the person who said would not ever read my work, and then goes and reads and reviews it, thank you and goodnight.

[Erainor]

You really are a piece of work. Seriously. I was trying to be nice and yet you are still negative in some way. You only see what you choose to see, that much has become clear. You only manage to see negativity in something that clearly isn't. @jljacobs, great poem despite what that other person had to say. I did not get from it what she did and I am thankful for that, otherwise I would clearly have issues of my own to deal with. BTW, I also suffer from depression and I do think it's wonderful when you have someone in your lifewho gives enough of a s**t about you that they not only validate the illness, but they care enough to help you see things from a better perspective as you clearly wrote about. And like your comments to princess about how you would never shred another writer like she did, that's very big of you when you could have easily gone to her page and done just that. Just sayin'.... Actually, this whole thing is sad. Princess, go back into your self-depreciating castle where you so clearly belong until you can learn to play well with others. I will not be trying to be nice towards you anymore. So how about you go ahead and f**k yourself!

[ThePaperPrincess]

I'm all smiles over here funny. I wrote what I felt. If she can't take it, well that's her problem not mine.

I disliked the poem. All-in-All I just didn't like it at all. I don't need your niceties. If she didn't want honest opinions she shouldn't accept reviews.

[Erainor]

So you disliked her poems... but telling her to go f**k herself? There were better ways for you to nicely express how you did not relate to her poem or that it wasn't something you liked. But the low level you sunk to with your comments was what did it for me.

[ThePaperPrincess]

I feel that calling people with mental illness abnormal deserves a f**k you.
Clearly she realized her wording was beyond fucked up because she edited it.

[JL Jacobs]

Wow. Tons of notifications and now I see why. This has gone on long enough. Seriously. I will no longer defend my poetry nor should I have to. I never said those with a mental illness are abnormal, I edited only the description in order to avoid people like Princess who take things so out of context. That's the only "abnormal" thing going on here. Erainor, thank you for your kind words regarding your review. I appreciate it. As for coming to my defense against Princess, don't bother. She's in a league of her own and I am over it. I have enough of her antics and she's made it clear she's not a fan of any of my work so there's no need for her to be back on my page or reviewing my work from this point forward. I thought is was kind of you to be the bigger person and give her feedback on her poem. I have not read it but it was nice of you to try to be nice. Obviously she's just a negative nellie who thrives on being a sour puss. You will find that others on here are so much more pleasant and constructive than she is. Good luck with your writing and I will check some of it out tomorrow when I have time. *Happy Writing!*