Hemlock

A poem I wrote a few years after a break up with an abusive lover. I allowed him back into my life, after seeing he didn't change, this is how things went. How I felt.

I can’t tell if the nightmares are

Warnings- A statement or event that
indicates a possible 
or impending danger, problem,
or other unpleasant situations.

They upped the dosage on my medicine,
but that didn’t seem to calm my heart from
the palpations of

Fear- An unpleasant emotion
caused by the belief that
someone or something
is dangerous, likely to cause pain,
or a threat.

Fear caused by the threats you sent me.

I keep having nightmares about you.

Standing with a knife and a match;

Lighting up your last cigarette
as you toss the flame unto my 
front porch, where you once
sat with flowers for me.

The knife had been planted in my back-
A seed of festering weeds growing
and growing until
I found myself in a sarcophagus
of twisting vines and thorns
in my sides.

They've been there for longer than
I led myself to believe;
Since we first slow danced 
in the middle of your room.

You were poisonous then but
your false love and softly shaded
blooms of Hemlock 
drew me and I fell in
fresh fields of pain.

I wanted so badly to believe 
you weren’t toxic. 

But, I’m a better liar to myself
than I am to others.

Author's Note

ignore any grammar problems, had some problems with spacing as well from lines 14-16

Reviews

[Wolf_Lord]

This is perfect the way it is... I would not change a thing. You have a nice knack for the descriptive and I too liked the use of the dictionary definitions. I think you may really enjoy this work, ' Betrayal II ' http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/Dark_Wolf/1743943/ I wrote it for a Wicca friend of mine who was horribly torn up by a betrayal. Wolf_Lord ,'', ^@@^ ,'', but all my dark writings are here under Dark_Wolf.

[Hailey Juliet]

This is an amazing piece Justine! I really like the use of "dictionary definitions" to define the terms fear and warnings at the beginning of the poem. The effect of this was establishing those ideas as central and important to the feeling of the piece. From the onset, I felt uneasy about the emotions that this poem might provoke and the way you told the story was very effective at carrying those feelings through the whole way. There is a tinge of hope in the line:

I wanted so badly to believe
you weren’t toxic.

But you very nicely dispelled this hope with the idea of lying to yourself. That was a very strong ending to a unique and emotionally turbulent poem. I particularly liked the description in this stanza:

Lighting up your last cigarette
as you toss the flame unto my
front porch, where you once
sat with flowers for me.

Very vivid description and i could imagine the setting. Somehow this stanza had me thinking of a more or less unrelated Wilco song, "Jesus etc..." I love that song and i loved your poem. Well done! and thank you for sharing:)