The Wind

For Tovli's 10 words on nature contest

 

 

THE WIND

 

Out of the citrus glow of squeezed oranges in a twilight sky,

I watched, hands protecting eyes from dazzling sight

Of cloud shift, moving with evening wind, free as air, and high

Above the mountain’s jagged crest, flowing with un-corrected flight

That far-away places might taste rain's future benison, shed

Upon the thirsting earth, providing food that man may eat,

Fruits, and goodness, yet more oranges that mankind may be fed;

Tokens of beneficence in the colour of the squeezed sky we greet

Tomorrow, through shading hands, welcoming clouds, borne on the wind,

Breathed across the world; rain-clouds - - - on the wind, - - - the wind

Clouds, breathed upon the wind.

Reviews

[emmajoy]

Tokens of beneficence in the colour of the squeezed sky we greet / Tomorrow, through shading hands, welcoming clouds, borne on the wind, / Breathed across the world; rain-clouds - - - on the wind, - - - the wind /Clouds, breathed upon the wind.

This poem is beautiful, John; apart from using the given words so well, you've woven a true meaning into the post. The lines above are a perfect finish.. the repeated 'on the wind .. on the wind.. ' - almost like 'spreading the word' via the air.

As ever, thank you for letting me share your fine, fine work.

[Jennifer Marie Theresa ..]

Well well structured and it was wonderful to read. We must appreciate all of nature and their virtues =]

[raining]

Oranges have always seemed a beneficent food to me. As though oranges were added as dessert in the garden of Eden. ...as i mean the squeezed sky and oranges seemed to move together to create a bigger metaphor. Beautitful.

[An owl on the moon]

Beautiful setting, in color and space... and the wind a central character, moving amidst twilight sky. A piece that speaks profoundly of the world giving and feeding mankind... Appreciated the flow and depth so much.

[Belator Books]

I liked this line in particular: "might taste rain's future benison"
A word sorely under-used. Nicely done, sir.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

This is simply stunning! All I could think of was mandarins tumbling from the sky. Your words evoke an adoration for nature that borders on worship. Lovely! Simply lovely!

[Emily B]

breezy and beautiful, I hope you do well in the contest. This is wonderful.

[Helena]

Truly wonderful poem with the 10 words seamlessly woven in this
beautifully descriptive write. Well done! ~ Thank you for submitting
this to Tovli's contest! ~ Helena

[Tovli]

great ending! (you can't possibly know how much i appreciate your underlining those ten words)!!! tovlu

[Mark]

Those last three lines, well, just took the wind out of my sails! I could actually feel, in the repeated-if-slightly-altered phrasing, the puffs, the gusts, the sighs of a seaside zephyr, could actually hear the clouds soughing, impatient to replace their fellows in queue. And "benison": I think I only ever saw it it print in a Shakespeare sonnet, or maybe a play...It's a blessing, yes? Very moving work, John!