My Hero

A tribute to my dad

E

ach year at this time, I sink into a mood so melancholy and grouchy that my own shadow finds it so unbearable, it leaves me. Yup, I am shadowless for twenty-four hours. What’s more unsettling is that Billie, the love of my life and the woman who has been beside me through thick and thin, has to avoid me out of sheer self-preservation.

            As you can gather, on the day before Father’s Day, I am by no means a happy camper. I’m grumpy, and you don’t want to know me. I wish I could say it may change next year, but I doubt it.

            You may ask: “Hey, Jim or J. Paddy (my moniker of late) what’s up? You’re always such a passive guy, a happy-go-lucky sort of chap. What the heck is bugging you?” And I would say this:

           

            Forty-one years ago, on the day before Father’s Day, while I was shaving, I was interrupted by my younger brother, Jack. My brother told me slowly to put my Gillette razor on the bathroom porcelain sink and struggled with several of the most difficult words he ever said:

 

“Jim,... put the razor down. . .Dad...he's dead.”

 

            My first thought was silly"no, ridiculous. It was: “Darn. I got him a tie.” The following few days brought a plethora of saddened reactions from friends, relatives, and my dad’s coworkers (a heckuva bunch. . .they had a tree planted in Israel for Dad).

            This event was seared into my brain as suddenly and painfully as if it had been done with a cattle branding iron.

 

            So, the day before Father’s Day is consumed with unpleasant memories for me. I guess that is why I get moody. When that day rolls around, I now find myself reflecting upon things that I wish I had said to my dad. I talk to him in my mind, instead. I say “It was always you, Dad, not Mickey Mantle,who was my hero. Sure The Mick could hit a cover off a baseball and smash homers where no one else could, but you taught me how to play baseball. It was you, Dad, who showed me how to be a good person. Many of the good things that I like in myself I learned from you and Mom. I can’t count the number of times that you extended yourself in acts of kindness. I often saw you stuffing a roll of cash into Aunt Paula’s hand. Many times, I was at your grocery store when you insisted that your older and more-feeble customers should get their food - even if they could not pay for it."

 These acts have inspired within myself a deeper sense of charity for the needy. It’s impossible for me or Jack to forget that terrible night when you were robbed and shot outside our own home. Afterward, you held us close to your side and never claimed that your attackers were victims of the color of their skin. They were just bad people. I’m sure that is why Jack and I consider ourselves to be “colorblind.” Also, you were such a romantic, and that really rubbed off on me.

            Through all of this angst, I learned something that I want to share with my friends and family. Actually, It’s more along the lines of advice"and I am not a person who gives advice freely. But this makes sense. If you have a good father wish him a Happy Father’s Day. If you treasure your dad, mean it when you say it. Finally, if your dad has passed away, wish him and another father the best of days.

    

            Happy Father’s Day, Dad and to many other fathers

 

Reviews

[donniedarko]

Hi J, I consider myself lucky that my father is still around, even though i don't see him as much as i used to. What you wrote made me think and realize to respect and cherish everything i have, as nothing lasts forever. I'm very sorry for your loss, and hope your family are getting on ok. i know what it feels like to lose someone, so you should never forget that you are not alone. all the best.

[J.Paddy]

I wish I could say the same about my dad. He did save me from drowning and he did stick up for me when a shopkeeper threw me out of his store, but in general my dad was very distant and abusive. Hard for me to identify with how you feel unless I transpose this into my mom. I'm glad your Dad was a force for good.--Love Billie

[Tristesse]

Good evening,

I think this has to be one of the most heart warming tributes I have seen written. I was touched, growing up without a father I cannot relate. However, where I can relate is having someone in your life that means the world to you. A hero if you will, and that is something valuable we all should share.

Your father seems to be a great man, and a hero at that. Though what he should know, and I am sure he does, is that his son is just as much of a hero as he is. Your writing is touching J, keep it up.

Best regards,
Tristesse

[Philip Muls]

Hi Jack, thank you for the story, it resonates. My dad is 93 and I feel I should tell him what he means to me after reading this.

I lost my mother and that was bad. See my story Catharsis on that, I would appreciate your review.

[Philip Muls]

Sorry I meant Jim...

[J.Paddy]

Thank you Jack. I'm glad your dad is still around. I often wonder what it would be like if mine was still here too. You are so right when you say that the pain is indescribable when a loved one passes. I fear that I mask my pain with humor and I don't know if that is right or not. Again, thanks for the review.

[Jack Wolfe]

Hey, J, this was nice heart-felt piece, I'm lucky my father is still around, but I've had others (like most) who have perished and not been forgotten. The pain felt when a loved one passes, is impossible to describe. You can write the greatest similes, and people will relate, but no one can feel the indescribable pain a sole person truly feels.