forgiveness

I fight the urge to be cliche
unoriginal
following so many trends
and waves
breaking breaking
against the shore;
you deserve so much more.

Forgiveness is as much a spiritual quest
as it is practical,
and you are so pragmatic.
your forgiveness does not come
with reconcilliation-
only friendship and practicality,
no risks. Perhaps you are
too fragile
too soft in the heart
and I am too sharp
too risky to try again.

I am begging myself
to forgive myself
drop this sackcloth
brush off the ashes,
the remnants of a cloud
of dark and deep regrets.

Forgiveness is as much a personal
endeavour as it is a mutual one.
But these two halves are not whole,
this forgiveness must be a mutual one.