i am(use me)

they told me to bend until I break

so I bent

but I couldn't break further than I already was

not from all the times I had bent

but from all the times I felt empty and lonely

more than I really was

or more than I should really feel

and it broke me that I was alone

but I shouldn't feel like it 

because they told me

to never say I felt alone

that way I would never be with someone else

and that I should wait for the right time

for the right person

so I wouldn't feel alone anymore

and I've been with people but not the right ones

not the ones I should have waited

I just spent time with them until they left

or they just enjoyed me until I made them leave

because I never wanted them to stay

because they were not the right ones

and I was not the one for them

so they used me

or I used them for a while

just so I wouldn't have a reason to feel lonely

at least not for some little time

even though it felt worse everytime they left

and they keep on leaving

maybe because I don't know how to make them stay

or because I don't want them to

perhaps it's simply because I'm not made that way

or I'm not worthy

of having someone stay at least once

at least for a while

just so I wouldn't feel lonely

just so I wouldn't make myself lonely

because they told me

to never say I felt alone

but I am

and I'm waiting

for the right person

for the right time

but it feels like I've been waiting my entire life

and I don't want to be alone anymore