Young Fun

senryu

My parents screaming,

"What is going on in here?"

Underage drinking.

Reviews

[747]

I'm not sure if I was supposed to laugh or not, but I did. Not that screaming parents are something to laugh about; but this is just perfectly written. It's like the kid is on the floor, looking up as he raises a bottle to his lips and is smugly thinking, "Duh, what does it look like?"

Though with a few re-reads it takes a darker and rather hopeless feeling turn. Rather than amusement it's more like the kid is half passed out, trying to forget what's going on in his whole world. It's as though he's simply stating what he's doing, hoping but not expecting that his parents will care why.

Either way, excellent write.

[Joshua Carl Cruz]

the whole of my life is sometimes illuminated by this situation over and over again. my fear is even though i will grow old, I may not grow out of this pattern. its like when someone says your name in tht one tone we all know only mothers use and it makes us respond I didnt do it! thanks for the read and request. im just getting back to stone and I welcome the s**t out of your opinions. thanks dell

[747]

Life is a battle; some days we win, others we lose. Chin up mi amigo, nothing you can't do if only you want to.

[Jen Walters]

A great poem where less is more and a topic not written enough about. A heartfelt poem about fighting and drinking and how it all seems to affect the whole family. Thanks for sharing a well written write and have a great day.

[FaeryQueen]

this is such a wonderful light read!

[terry smith]

I like it!! but you need one more in the first line.

[Joshua Carl Cruz]

You think i should plug in the terry or do you have a suggestion in mind amigo? give me a hand if you can brother!

[Joshua Carl Cruz]

like the parents screaming....or is it possible to get away with a short one upstairs

[terry smith]

dude use my...my parents screaming..

[Joshua Carl Cruz]

duh, of course. jeez i am a flurpen derp a derp. thanks brother. nailed it

[E G TEN]

It's all fun and games until you get caught.
Cool little Senryu, Cheers!