forbidden love.

It was forbidden love, she was not meant to fall for the man of his nature.He had no self respect; love to him was only a game. They were together for a while; he twisted his way out of all he did wrong.She forgave and forgave; her love for him was blind. He had his luck for a while, but luck was all it was. It didn’t take long for his true colours were suddenly exposed. She was broken, she was depressed, and she had no more faith in this world.Will she ever learn to trust a man again? Has he broken her to a point of no repair? She looks back on what was, she wished she hadn’t been so blind. It was forbidden love, she was not meant to fall for the man of his nature.

Reviews

[zero binty]

Haunting. I watch this type of ordeal just about every day. Females like the bad boy image, but not the actuality of it. Then when they finally meet a decent person, their learned behaviour of untrusting wrecks the situation. Or maybe males are just dumb...yah, we are. I'm going with that.

[John Fitzgerald]

I enjoy the style, it always feels like a narration at the start of a quite typically American film

I definitely think it's not a waste here. As all past should be woven into future, you point it out just the way you feel it and that should be seen, bitter, but your quill is gold for those moments. xx

[Zackery Alan Daley]

Maybe you should not waste your raw talent on this person anymore. I had to make that decision, it took me a long time, and I do not wish that "cramp" in your style.

[Marie]

But forbidden fruit always seems the brightest, the juiciest, the sweetest. Only after eating some does it become bitter...

[Sunflower 20]

nice! i liked the way you started and ended with the same line, it wrapped everything up nicely. i also liked the way you told a story in a very small paragraph. great job! :)

[AK]

Very nice! But indeed I would like the poem to be a little more descriptive. Like-
Liquid luck in his hands he beheld,
But it streamed away,
Ever so slowly
With Time himself.
Instead of-
He had his luck for a while, but luck was all it was.
Note:this is not what I expect it to be. This is just to tell you what exactly I mean by 'descriptive'
I've also noticed that your stanzas are usually one-liners unlike the typical stanzas which go like-
Dnsnjdvan,
Dwnvnfvbu.
Dbudbvurwbg.
Dhcbdeihgbei:
-in each stanza. Try refining your style, standardising the stanzas with one line and those with two. Also look at the syllables unless you like writing
free style. Hope it helps and have a good day!
Akanksha Suresh

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

This poem makes me think of how hard life can be for the optimist who looks at people and sees them for their potential instead of who they have decided to be... hoping their love could inspire them to live up to it. It makes one fearful who think of how sad it would be for such a heart to become jaded.

[Phear]

i liked it, it's very true and you captured the feeling of the situation very well :) i can honestly say i've been there before and it sucks! so good on you for writing such an accurate piece! I would love it if you could check out my work... i'd love the feedback!!

[Brandon S. Whitten]

Thank goodness we grow and look back at our heartache and eventually say, That wasn't so bad after all. Excellent read.