The Creation by Xythi

This is a story of how my fictional world for my book, inspired by Harry Potter and the Lord of the Rings, was created.

Before the age of mortals a world was ruled by Gods, called Xythi. First there was Zetor, Xyth of creation and destruction. He created the earth, sea, sky and void. The sky blew the sea over the earth and forth came Phora, Xythi of earth, stability and nature. Harus, Xythi of sea, change and passion. Calum, Xythi of sky, inner rest and spirit. Zetor was jealous of his stolen world that he made the void shrink and consume it. Combining their forces Phora, Harus and Calum managed to create a master of the unknown emptiness, Umeros. She was Xythi of void and the unknown. By creating her the three saved the world and afterwards they decided Zetor needed to be controlled. And so they brought Udice into this world, Xythi of justice and control.

She became Zetors wife and after a while Ander was born, a child, hence he was Xythi of courage, kindness and innocence. But being the only child in this world Ander was lonely, so he created company, Mortals. These mortals, the first to ever

walk the earth, were called Pagens.

            For ages Ander played with the Pagens and all was well, but alas the Pagens asked the Xythi why the Xythi could live forever and they had to die. Umeros, Harus and Zetor, insulted by this question, decided to teach the Pagens a lesson in respect. Zetor ordered Umeros to fill the hearts of Pagens with darkness and corruption and Harus to stuff the minds of Pagens with ambition and jealousy. And so the mortal world plunged into chaos. Many Pagens fell to each other’s hand. It was a bloody and cruel war.

            Not able to spectate for much longer, Ander begged his mother to interfere. Seeing her sons unhappiness she asked Calum and Phora to stabilize the world. Calum cracked open the earth and spread them in the heavens, creating seven different worlds. Phora changed the Pagens into seven different races and gave them all their own world. *summary of races and places*.

Author's Note

What do you think of it? Is it a good start? Should I change things around? Is it too much telling? I'm aiming for kind of a fairy tale beginning.

Reviews

[Sargon Dorsai]

It's an interesting premise. Where did the Xythi come from? Also, you don't need to say that they're Gods. You can show that by describing their abilities. Most beings who are able to create planets are considered to be Gods.

You mention that the other Xythi were created, but not how or why. If they were created by the process of creating the planet, why were they same power level as Xythi?

How were your mortals created? Dust of the earth kind? Why didn't they have darkness in them before? You need to have balance in all things and a creation without a form of balance is without form and cannot evolve. It will never question its existence like you have the Pagens doing in this story.

Overall, you have the bones for a fantastic story. Give it some more polish.

[JakeRose]

I recently made a newer version of the story and it is gonna be a manuscript of a crazy old man that the main character finds. So then he is curious why this man wrote it and he discovers that Earth is one of many worlds. Thats why I'm kinda vague about the whole thing, because the writer is vague and insane himself. So I don't know if I want to explain that much in the manuscript.
Responding to your questions, it is not clear to the writer where they came from, but Zetor wants a world he can rule and accidentally the three elemental Xythi were born out of their own elements.
I don't know how my mortals were created xD and they didn't have darkness in them because Ander made them like himself. Since he was kind and loving they were too. And I think the Pagens ask this question because they were sad to lose their people.

Anyway, thank you for responding and it was nice to have some feedback!

PS: Soon there will be a chapter before this one and this one will be finished.