Go, Go Jesus Rangers!

I wrote this in 5 minutes, because I forgot to do my assignment for English class, and this is what I came up with.

    I asked myself, "How do I always get myself into messes like this?" My name is Jim.
Me and my group of super-cool friends were in a predicament. One in which we can't get
out of.
    We are stuck behind a door, in a room with no windows and no other way out. The enemy
is on the other side, trying to break down the door with brute force.
    My mind is a blur right now, and yet I'm still trying to give the group some motivation to
fight back. But something won't let me. So just hang tight for a minute... Let me back up,
and bring you up to speed.
    Now, if I remember correctly, this all started on a Sunday. I was on my way to my youth
group meeting for church, and that's when I ran into a group of druggies. They were pushing
me to the ground, and I tried fighting back, but they overpowered me. I guess this was just
meant to be.
    As I started to drift away, someone stopped me, and held me. Could it be? It was...
JESUS!!! He took me to a room where four other recently injured teens were waiting.
    I had to sit down, because I had absolutely no idea what the heck was going on here. I was
going absolutely insane here.
    There were two guys and two girls in the room with me. And noone else. Nobody was saying
anything except the occasional, "Do you know what we're all doing here?", or "This is so messed
up." I decided to just keep to myself, concidering I just got jumped by a bunch of drugged up
lunatics.
    About five minuts went by, and I was beginning to get impatient. I stood up and announced,
"If I don't find out what's going on here in the next fifteen seconds... Then I'm cracking skulls!"
Of course, I wouldn't really do it. I just thought someone needed to take action here.
    I must have struck fear into their hearts, because they all ran to the corner, as if they just
a ghost or something. And yet I was wrong. I turned around, and I saw Jesus standing behind me.
He looks at me and says, "Very good, Jim... I was looking forward to seeing you take leadership
among your brethren." He wasn't wrong. I was always a natural born leader.
    He told us to take a few minutes to get acquainted, because we were all going to be working
together for a long time. I began to walk around the room introducing myself. Starting with the
boys.
    The first boy's name was Jack, and he was wearing a blue shirt. The second boy's name was
Fred, and he wore green. I went to introduce myself the girls, next. The first girls name was
Jill, and she wore pink, and was also Jack's sister, The second girl's name was Jen, and she
wore yellow.
    Jesus quickly stood up and said, "Since you're all wearing different color shirts, I should
just make those the colors of your suits." Jesus then, swung his magic wand through the air,
and then we all had our suits.
    I took a glance around the room at everybody, and then I said, "Hey guys... Doesn't this
seem a little wierd? It feels like we're in a spin-off of a cheesy 90's childrens television
show." They all looked around at eachother muttering words like, "Yeah", or, "He's right".
    Then an alarm started to go off, and we were out the door. We went to a building full of
huge men, because they were planning to beat up small children.
    When we got there we opened the door and walked in. They were all standing around as
if they knew we were coming. I told them, "It's a sin to beat up small defenseless children."
Then, one of them threw a hammer at me.
    So we all ran into a room on the top floor. This is about where you came in. my mind
starts to work to my advantage now. I tell my team to fight back. When we built up the
courage, we left the room and tried to fight. We made it about two steps out the door,
and then they beat the living mess out of us.
    Back across town, Jesus grabs his head, and he says, "Dang it!!! Another group of kids
are hospitalized because of me."

Reviews

[F**K]

." I decided to just keep to myself, concidering I just got jumped by a bunch of drugged up (considering)
About five minuts went by (minutes)
seem a little wierd (weird)
childrens television (children's)

other than those few mistakes i was cracking up... sorry to say this though i dont really believe in jesus... but i was dying my teacher thought i was like fucked up