A Simple Vision

one of my favorites

A simple vision of a starless night

Brought about by a soft carress

The graceful passing of a cool breeze

Stirring the fallen leaves from thier slumber

Setting them to dance in its wake

A brittle rustle among the cold stones

The sightless eyes of angels gazing down upon me

Crosses of stone slowly crumbling under the glare of the pale moon

The scent of jasmine and roses entwined with sweetness of earth

The dulcet tones of a bell ring out across the night

Darkness begins to fade

Burned away by the coming mornings light

My simple vision slips away

As do I

Until my vision returns

Reviews

[Damien Dsoul]

Evidently, you have quite an imagination within yourself, James. Interesting to note how well you put it to good use, such as the style you often indulge in: mixing dark with surrealism, as you protrayed so eloquently in this poem. It also carries evacative splendour of the senses. Except for that tiny error in the fourth line (their - thier), you work really achieves its greatness.

[Victoria Lee~]

James, this was stunning. Wow..Just beautiful, I cannot pick a favorite line. I love the whole piece.

[SM Davis]

Until my vision returns. Glorious!

[Tania Leigh]

Beautifully written, James! You do poems just as well as stories....truly a gift

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

I love the evening hours and the night sky, you have described this very well, a peaceful loving feeling. Thank you for sharing. Debileah

[Paula M. Potter]

I really like this one. Knowing you I understand but at the same time it seems mysterious.

[Jaffa Forbes]

I like this - ont he surface it is a 'simple vision' - but when you look closer, there's so much more. I don't get the last line though, it lifts the poem up again when it's just so beautifully faded away with your vision. Anyway, good luck in the contest.

keep writing

Jaff

[W.k.kortas]

It's not really that simple a vision, is it? It's certainly a detailed one--there is some nicely detailed imagery in here; the piece is very visual, and creates a dreamy, surreal feel quite effectively. A nice piece of writing.