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A Poem by James McFadyen

I am tired
I am tired and I'm only twenty

When once my mind had distance
Between cloudlets,
And capacious to fit copses
Where one could retire from the heat
And watch, listening to the aria of spring
The larks calling
Relishing in the distance their song
could carry, where it went beyond
The back wall of the horizon
Bending over the belly of the land
And skipping across the pools of the earth

It is no more.
I am tired
I am only twenty.

I see the bruised sky grow, darker
A rotten gauze rolls over the firmament
And cuts out the nursing hand of the sun.
My eyes pulse, I feel the ground press
Against my skull, though I am standing.
Inimical is this sentiment
And with each breath quivering
The leaves no longer whisper me to stay
The trees weep for me to leave.

Shallow is my sky from my earth
And unwelcoming is my forest
For I know I reside there
A part of me born there.
Precious.
And there it must remain
There it will always remain.
Lost is my paradise
My noetic exile
No sedative for this earth,
I must love my wounds
I must love my skin.

The larks do not sing anymore.

© 2014 James McFadyen


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A sad tale but you are young and strong and a brilliant poet, your promise is so much more.

Posted 7 Years Ago


James McFadyen

7 Years Ago

Thank you for your kind words
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Pax
I am tired
I am tired and I'm only twenty

~ I's still in my twenties too,:), I feel the sadness the piece has brought to us your readers, The first lines strucks a cord in my place upon a weary soul, me too, I am tired, at times very tired, but with all the tireness of the gloomy days, I survive and bear much more of what's out there, understand everything with all the compassion at might, like you said in this piece:

I must love my wounds,
I must love my skin.

with that said, I can't say much more than follow what our hearts tells us to, the path of love through acceptance, because life goes on no matter what...

even though The last sentence makes anyone sad, I am sure that someday, the rhythm of the song will come back and sing again in tune to fall into place...

very expressive piece!

Posted 7 Years Ago


James McFadyen

7 Years Ago

Such eloquent and profound words in your review. Thank you so much for sharing.
I read immediately here that you understand literature..I studied English many years ago, and it helps a lot to create and work with poetry, good poem here !

Posted 7 Years Ago


James McFadyen

7 Years Ago

Indeed it does, thank you for your review!
This made me feel like it is a young person contemplating suicide, but realizing they should not, but still questioning the why. A wonderful write to ponder.

Posted 7 Years Ago


James McFadyen

7 Years Ago

Thank you for sharing your interpretation!
Sorrowfully beautiful...sounds like an old soul knowing their worth and that they do know they need to ground and re-find themselves...time for nature and sky gazing me thinks :) x

Posted 7 Years Ago


James McFadyen

7 Years Ago

Plenty of nature and sky gazing, definitely. Thank you x
James I found this so difficult to read as it reflects my oft held emotions which I wish I could have avoided and which I do not wish upon you. It is a sublime piece of poetry!

Posted 7 Years Ago



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Added on July 23, 2014
Last Updated on July 23, 2014

Author

James McFadyen
James McFadyen

London, Middlesex, United Kingdom



About
Graduate from the University of Exeter: BA HONS English Literature with Creative Writing (Study Abroad) Former English Language Teacher in Hanoi, Vietnam. more..

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