All I'll Leave Behind

About how trauma can lead us to seek refuge in addiction, and the emotional wreckage it can cause

I'm out in some dim-lit bar

Trying to chase away my waking dreams

All memories etched in pain

Always shackled, the victim is never free

Some scars refuse to fade

Always destroying my own house of cards

Leaving me with ruin and a flawed humanity

Every shot sets me to 'restart'

Every nerve left feeling empty

All of heaven's lights dulling their shine

And at least the demons can drown

If only for a few hours

Til dawn brings the drummers

Playing inside of my head

What is this before my eyes?

Another knife wound to my damaged pride?

And now where is the next poison

To wash away whatever mistakes I've made

All drunk on my own excuses

An addiction, I chained myself as it's slave

Childhood was never innocent

But I refused to heal my own wounds

All of my nightmares conspire to collide

They say you'll wake from them soon

But I'm trapped forever in mine

Every nerve left feeling empty

All of heaven's lights dulling their shine

And at least the demons can drown

If only for a few hours

Til dawn brings the drummers

Playing inside of my head

What is this before my eyes?

All of the ruin that I've left behind