Breeze Bottles

 

I wish

that you and I

could stand atop

these mountains

and catch the dry-

leaves breeze in bottles.

So when I leave, and

am homesick for you,

I can pop them open

one by one and

drink in their

                        sweet elixir

Reviews

[Tim McGovern]

Great poem and wonderful idea
one nit pick, the repetition of " leaves/leave"
Maybe you could change " So when you leave.."
to another word that means the same?
Just a thought.

Thank you
Namaste'
Tim

[imnoromeo215]

interesting great poem

[Angela H.]

Hi, Jenbem. This is a great image and metaphor. I can feel that breeze and smell it, too. When you get this tonic marketed, let me know. I'll buy!