And...

A poem of apologetic, reminiscent, amending love

I always told you that the love I have for you was abiding;

Real

Every beat of my heart whispered your name and,

When I fell to slumber I dreamed only of waking in your arms

And when I did, all was right in the world

 

I always told you I would love you for my whole life long;

I do

You asked how I knew it would be so; how I could be so sure.

And I never told this or even hinted at it before

But

Everyday I would think of ways to adore you

To throw velvet red rose petals on the ground in homage to you

Things to say in song,

In poem,

And in deed or word

Something different everyday came to mind

As you showed me some different charm to adore

 

If your beauty was unending in my eyes

And it was

And is

Then surely so was my ability to show you my adoration in kind

And so

I needed a lifetime to simply keep up with your wondrous bounty

And

 

When I hurt you,

 And

I know I had at times my dear

I would shudder;

recoil and I shrank in fear

For I couldn’t afford to create a deficit or bruise the

Heart I held in such high esteem

The heart I worked so feverishly to keep well nourished and near

Still

Although I loved you and yet I held myself in utter disdain
and so

When happiness reached for me, I sadly withdrew

Or

Sabotaged our love in hopes that  happiness would not remain

So the paradox is that I would push you away and cause you pain

But

Remember this for if ever you were to believe the truth

This is true and I wish to make it veritably plain

I only meant to hurt myself

I never meant my love, to damage you

Copyright© 2010 J. K. Bradford

Reviews

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

You only meant to hurt yourself and now you hang your head in shame...........soul touching piece J.K.