What hurts the most will eventually kill you...

I feel sick...
I'm tired.
I've had enough.
I've bottled it all up for years..
I try so hard to do so little..
Things like smile and say "I'm fine"...
When actually, I'm not.
I'm dying inside, the pain is killing me!
"I've had enough, that's it!!"
I'll shout..
I will try to end my life.
I fail.. I always fail.
You tell me you're having a bad day,
I'll try to cheer you up when that's what I need...
I try to hide..
I try to lie..
If my thoughts and feelings came out,
They would think I'm attention seeking...
They would point and laugh...
They would call me "emo" or "goth".
They don't understand...
They never will.
I will continue dying and lying,
I shan't tell you why I cry..
I shan't tell you why I lie,
But I will tell you it's become unbearable.
Day by day, it gets harder.
I'm sick of them saying "it'll be okay" or "I understand, hold on tight"
Because they don't!
I feel so alone..
I feel so broken..
I am so done.
So.. This is what it's like having depression?
Worse.. Anxiety is stopping me from being who I wanna be..
I can't be myself anymore..
Now, I'm just a shy screw up.
I hope to die soon..
It's all too much.
I suppose this is it for now..,
Bye.