Crow on My Back, Monkey by My Side

Crow on My Back, Monkey by My Side

A Poem by Jesse Torres II

Child Abuse and Addiction


I only mention the word addiction in certain company.

I despise most of those who do this with me, they are posers.

Suburbian angst is laughable.

If I were easily amused, maybe high wouldn't seem so good. 

Getting High.......... Getting high.

Addiction may separate and divide, like they say,

but getting high brings it all together.

The sharp edges, the manic nausea, the traumatic stress disorder. 

Families and friends can traumatize as much as explosive devices.

My friend, hung in his basement, is just as dead as a suicide bomber.

He hurt himself and others just as much as those who get Fox News coverage.

Maybe his insanity tormented him more in some ways.

He had time to fester, in peace.  More things assured him that, "everthing gonna be alright."

It is because of pathetic, that he hung, pathetic.

There are no virgins where he has gone.

They say it is because of addiction that he ended in the basement.

Really, it's because he got high that he lasted at all (you can put that in your pipe and smoke it).

When she picks you up by the hair,

you wanna get high.

When she calls you a w***e,

you wanna get high.

When they laugh because you can't throw a ball,


High and alone in the school halls is better than just alone in the school halls.

Addiction is the friend.

My company and I smile when we're high.

All of our faculties are not welcomed.

Some of us were helped to tap into the wrong things at the wrong time.

We became prodigies of sobbing and fear,

but our tune has no connoisseurs.

When we had been disappointed again, and disdain and disgust let us know that we smelled bad and were stupid and ugly,

we sat alone in the closet, let the shame settle in, took comfort in the dark and walls and quiet.

We could never understand just cheer up, until we discovered high.

When we cut ourselves because they said they just wanted to be friends it made absolute sense.

Bloodletting is an exquisite high.

I think that when black crows get high they enjoy being black crows,

and addiction is their best company.



Jesse Torres
30 January 2012

© 2013 Jesse Torres II

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i have been addicted to many things

i think you put some things in perspective for me

Posted 11 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jesse Torres II

11 Years Ago

"Fulfilling" is not the best word, but it is fulfilling for me to hear that at least one piece of my.. read more
Emily B

11 Years Ago

we all need validation, especially when we start dragging skeletons out of the closet :)

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1 Review
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on January 4, 2013
Last Updated on January 5, 2013
Tags: child abuse, addition


Jesse Torres II
Jesse Torres II

Kent, WA

I'm a Karate Teacher, Former Marine Officer, graduate of Univiersity of Washington with a BA in Liberal Studies, father and husband. Running a karate school for twelve years, at which I take a holist.. more..