what's going on these days

                  I.
These days I  wonder if people are meant to be alone

           II. 
I’m sorry but I regret what happened that night.
I wish I could still remember the smile you brought me, but I only feel the shame.
Like how I needed to wash your smell of my skin. Following back every trace you left in my house, just to brush it clean. No one would ever have to know,
but I told them anyway. And you told them.
I don’t think you know how self-destructive I can be.

            III.
Your name pops up on my screen, but it does not terrify me.
I’ve never cared about you, and now you don’t care about me.
I wish I could just hug you without all of the awkwardness,
but we’ve moved to fast. And now we can’t go back to day 1.

           IV.
I’m not as brave as you might think.
You confuse my cold behavior with confidence, It’s weakness.
You confuse my weakness with being easiness.  
I’m not easy, boy. I could strangle you with my bare hands.

          V.
Sometimes it’s too hard to say: ‘I don’t like you that way’.