Song of Angels

Two long lost friends meet each after the longest of time to create music for everyone to listen to.

Sitting on the window ledge, gazing off into the distance is Rei Nishimura. She wants the world to hear her music, her voice. She remembers that her parents advise her not to take on such a dream. They say she will lose and that she ­­­­­has to stay in the castle and live to become the next ruler of their territory. She glances at the sunset as her long red-violet hair and her white blouse flows with the wind. She takes a deep breath and sings the Song of Angels, a song she made with a partner in grade school. She closes her dark eyes and becomes a voice that travels with the wind.
    Walking to the next location, Kichirou Matsuoka, nearly gets plowed by ongoing traffic. His dark eyes glisten in the lights of the car, quickly realizing the situation he sprints to a nearby sidewalk. "Whew! That was close!" he says to himself relieved that he's still alive. He slumps onto the sidewalk and begins to take a guitar out of his case. He starts to play the Song of Angels, getting the melody perfect. He thinks to himself I bet Rei would be proud right now if she heard this! He plays the night away with his unkempt black hair riding with the wind.
    Rei leaps into her room and goes to sleep, realizing what she needs to do. Kichirou stands up and strolls to the nearest lot to sleep in, hoping that he will be able to live another day. In the morning, Rei awakens and does her morning routine. While putting her clothes on she sees a picture of herself and another person playing a song. She still doesn't remember who he is, but she knows that he is the one she wants to start a group with. Kichirou wakes up and jumps onto his legs getting ready for another tiring day. He picks up his guitar and takes a walk to a noodle shop to eat with the money he gathered yesterday. After eating he goes back to his usual spot and starts to play his guitar again until he gets tired.
    Rei, being called to the dining hall for breakfast, walks into the dining hall and eats her breakfast. She dawdles back into her room and quickly takes out a piece of paper and a pencil. She writes down Sorry, papa, mama, I have to go and make my dream come true. I've decided that I'll use the money I've saved up to move out and start my life outside of the castle. I guess you could call this running away, but this is what I have to do so goodbye. -Rei Nishimura. She takes her money and purse, and starts to walk out of the castle. Once she escaped the castle the wind makes her shiver in her blouse. She takes a look back at the castle, "Goodbye, Mother, goodbye Father," she says as her feet start to take her into the city.

Author's Note

How is my dialogue, characterization, and imagery? Also how do you think I can improve this piece of writing?

Reviews

[Marie]

I don't usually aadvise this, because I prefer shorter pieces, but you neeed to flesh this out a bit more, in order to pull the reader in. You've written down a good idea.