I’m lost

Some times I just need a friend
Someone that would just listen to me for once with no judgments.

I am embarrassed by the things that I have done in the past
I am embarrassed by the actions that I hade to take, the results of my reckless behaviour. The what ifs that still haunt me, my shame unspoken my feeling unheard and my reality unknown.

Constantly looking for love in all the wrong places. Falling for words and not actions, giving them my everything and expecting the same in return only to presented with yet again false hopes lies and deceit.

I have always tried to be a good human being, I have always tried to treat everyone with love and respect but somewhere along I lost myself. I became a version of myself that I did not recognise or liked but for the moment the version of myself helped me survive.

I never believed in Karma until now.