Through the Walls

All these people are staring at me,

wide-eyed, unblinking, accusing.

God knows what they think about me. 

All their thoughts festering and multiplying inside their heads,

the dark and twisted things they see.

The dark and twisted things they see about me.

Their eyes are blind but they think they can see,

far more than what they actually can.

They think they can see me.

They've never seen my insides,

They haven't seen my demons.

They haven't seen me.

What they see is not me,

it's what they've come to believe is me.

But all they see is lies, rumors, and falsities.

That's not who I am,

but that's all am I to them. 

And now I've begun to think that I'm becoming what they think I am.

They laugh at what they see,

sneer and whisper behind their hands.

They laugh at the ugly image before them- me.

I can hear their words,

I can see their lips moving.

I can feel their gazes upon my back.

All the things they say,

hardly any of it's true. 

I'm caught up in their massive web of lies.

The lies have pressed against my ribs,

they have settled in my heart as fine as dust.

They plague me inside my own head.

God, send help,

I don't want to think these things.

What if what they're saying is true?

What if their lips speak truth?

What if their eyes see the real me?

What if I'm as ugly as they perceive me to be?

Their gazes are hungry,

their mouths drink me in.

The things they say leave bleeding wounds across my thoughts.

I don't want them to see me,

I don't want them to think they can say s**t like that.

I want to disappear.

I want to blur myself out of their vision,

pluck myself out of their conversations. 

Erase myself from their memory.

What I wouldn't give to faze myself through the floors,

melt through the walls.

Disappear from existence.

Forever.