Serial Killer for Hire

Serial Killer for Hire

The glaring sun arose from the horizon pouring light into the shadows and awakening me from my slumber.  But like a newborn flame, it was snuffed out by clouds and fog. Cleansing darkness fell from the sky and plunged the world into the shadows.  A perfect day, my garden needed some clouds, and I could afford to let a couple plants die, I’ve let worse things happen. It was chilly outside, not too cold, but cold enough for me to skip my daily cleaning of my trophies.  They were a bit dusty, but that didn’t matter, it was the look on people’s faces when they saw them. Silver skulls, never got old, at first they’d be confused, then the horror set in, and I got 95% of my jobs right at that moment.  Yes I killed, and I enjoyed it, but I’m not uncivilized, I only kill those I’m hired to kill, and today was no different.

Another day another victim, this time I was getting paid to interrogate someone, the instructions were as follows: “Do what you can to find out the the location of Zebadiah King (the twerp’s boss), and if he doesn't talk, kill him.” What can I say, I’m a people pleaser.  My knuckles were bleeding, my shirt was drenched in sweat and blood. I’d been beating him for hours at a time, but he still wouldn’t talk. He’d told me several addresses that I knew weren’t true, I saw it in his eyes, or should I say eye, as one was swollen shut. I grabbed his hair and yanked back his head.  

“Where is your boss?!  I’ve grown tired of your little game!  You have 30 seconds to tell me or your brains will be splattered against the back wall.”  I let go of his head as he leaned forward and spit out blood.

“Go ahead, shoot me, I dare you!”  he said, I chuckled and picked up my bat.

“I’m not going to shoot you, that would be too easy.”  The cops found his body the next morning, too mangled to identify.  Cops, what a joke, but they don’t comprehend them that well. I kidnapped two of them one time, for a job of course, told them a joke to lighten the mood, they didn’t laugh.  So I gave them another one with a great punchline. Still no laughter, I tried one more time, and unfortunately there was a killer ending. I know, I sound like The Joker, but hey, everyone needs a role model.

Luckily, since the little yutz didn’t cough up the location, I was getting paid overtime to find him myself and put an end to the King.  What you might not know about me. I’m not just a crazed killer, I’m also a genius. Not just anyone can get away with murder, let alone 29 murders, they don’t even know my name!  Finding Zebadiah King would be easy. All it would take was a truck full a supplies and a warehouse full of morons, and Mr. King would be providing them himself. Finding his warehouse was easy, everyone new where it was, making the people fear you was a rookie move, if they fear you they’ll never forget where you are.  Getting on board of the right truck was even easier. Then with a short car ride, and five dead guards, I killed Zebadiah King and brought my employer his head.

Reviews

[Vivian Fisk]

I hope this is supposed to be tongue-in-cheek, because I found it very amusing! This guy is so wonderfully arrogant that he reminds me of some of the I.T. guys I've known.