Memories

      Oh, the memories, the memories...

                That tree that he would climb,

                That playground where he'd play,

                That old swing out in the yard

                where he'd swing the days away.

                That creek where he would fish,

                And where he'd wish upon a dove.

                That long starry summer night,

                When he first fell in love.

 

The memories, the memories,

If you lend an open ear;

They'll whisper to you everything,

You ever need to hear.

                

                The time that his mom told him,

                Just to "be a simple man".

                He looked her in the eye and said,

                "I think, I think I can."

                

                That day that his mom bought him,

                His very first guitar,

                She looked him in the eye and said,

                "You will, you will go far."

 

The memories, the memories,

Hanging heavy in the air;

They fill each breath that forms the words,

These lips so proudly bear.

                

                Those nights he slept upon the ground,

                In his own fathers house.

                He never even voiced complaints,

                Just prayed that he'd get out.

 

                That time his step-mom beat him,

                And put hatred in his eyes.

                She said, "How can you sleep at night,

                And live to tell such lies?!?!"

                That time his daddy told him

                "You know I dont believe you."

                He screamed within his bleeding mind,

                "I have yet to deceive you!!!"

 

                That time he fin'lly ran away,

                And fin'lly found himself.

                And that time that he returned again,

                To once more burn in hell.

 

The memories, the memories,

Whisp'ring me my dreams;

They are the story of the boy,

Who grew up into me.

 

                That first time that he wrote a song,

                He put his soul to words!

                He asked, "Do I, Do I dare...,

                Disturb the universe?"

Author's Note

several allusions to other poems and songs
as most of my stuff has

this is the first draft... so tell me what you think
tell me what you like and dislike, what you would change and what you would never change

i have been trying to get this poem out of my system for weeks
and last night it just clicked


this is semi-autobiographical

Reviews

[a]

"The memories, the memories,
If you lend an open ear;
They'll whisper to you everything,
You ever need to hear." - heart-breaking, crystal-clear shot, a powerful, greatly rhymed eye-catcher.

The childhood, memories and the adult psyche, powerful sense of inner struggle. A sense a paranoia, the scenes are haunting him, deep frustration, and, yet the rays of light from that what's happened in past, the good things, are sewing through place to place, time to time. Ambivalent.

And a huge, remarkable question of "Dare I?", "Am I worth trying, seeing... living?", "Can I win this?"
Fantastic work!

Thank you very much!

[J Carly]

Honestly, John, this is perfect the way it stands. I wouldn't change a thing. I apologize for not reviewing this sooner. It got lost in a sea of read requests that I am now wading through. That's really no excuse. In any case, I am glad I found it. It's beautiful...every line. I told ya, kid. You've got talent and wisdom beyond your years. The reviews of others before me prove that. Keep the ink flowing!

[Lizanne]

Disturb the universe? You are going to make it explode with writings such as this. You are very wise for 17 and your writings are very mature. The language, flow rythmn, everything fits together so well. You are doing what the universe has planned for you. Your poetic pen is youthful, yet you write as a mature adult. You address what is a bad situation for one to live in, but do so without whining. You exhibit a great writing skill. Kind of makes me think that one of these days I will hear, "Have you heard that song by John McGrael?" Keep up the good work!

[cest la vie]

For such a young writer, you have the emotion, and talent a writer needs. this is a very good piece.
" That first time that he wrote a song,
He put his soul to words!
He asked, "Do I, Do I dare...,
Disturb the universe?"
These lines are wonderful and truly wrap up the poem. I say this is an very nicely written poem. keep the ink flowing.

[Bud]

This could very well act as my own testament. My friend, it is the annealing in the fires that give any glass or metal it's strength! Never forget that!. This hits home for me on so many levels, it isn't funny. Many of my own similar memories flashed as I read this. A truly Remarkable piece. Keep up the Magnificently Outstanding works of Excellent art!

[Sarah Marie]

this poem is absolutely amazing. i love it because you wrote it from your personal experiences with jenelle and your dad. amazing john. you have yet again given me chills.

just one thing that caught my eye. when you wrote: "They fill each breathe that forms the words"
shouldn't breathe be breath?

but again, you've left me speechless.

[Tate Morgan]

I liked it but i think it too long and thepoint loses the interest in the length and bredth of it
Tate