Blood On The Street

Blood On The Street

A Poem by José Humilde
"

I was inspired by a poem I read to try out this style. Enjoy! :D

"

Flocking,

Talking,
Shocking,
Gawking.
Blood on the street, flocking talking folks.
A man was "dead," shocking, gocking hoax.

© 2010 José Humilde


Author's Note

José Humilde
A tyburn is a six line poem with a set syllable count.The first four lines rhyme and are all descriptive words. The last two lines rhyme and incorporate the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th lines as the 5th to 8th syllables. The structure is:

line 1 - 2 syllables
line 2 - 2 syllables
line 3 - 2 syllables
line 4 - 2 syllables
line 5 - 9 syllables
line 6 - 9 syllables

Any and all comments are welcome...I've never done one of these, so I'm sure I did it wrong. Let me know! Any ideas for a title?

Thanks!

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Reviews

I really like this! Good job. I am not one for rhymes, but this was cool. Normally I cry "imagery! imagery! imagery!" to poets but even if I hadn't known this was a specific form it didn't need vast amounts of metaphor.

Posted 11 Years Ago


This was interesting, I would have never thought of it, great thinking. Its different.

Posted 11 Years Ago


I like this! It is a rather strange verse form I must say...never come across it before... It seems to be structured so as to create an impact first. With just two syllables in the first four lines... The rhyme also adds to the effect.... The last two lines give some insight into the eight syllables above them... In my humble opinion, it seems more suited to light humourous or satirical verses...
The title you have chosen too, sounds good to me... :)
Good write!

Posted 11 Years Ago


I suck at writing poems to a certain format. It enhances word flow, though. I like this one.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Wow what a very deep poem I am new here and it's learn as you go, thank you for sharing your work

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

heyy i think it's an awesome tyburn, it has such a mystery, like something dark is lurking :D
very different from my happy one, lol, excellent poem JH :)
~L
~L

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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462 Views
6 Reviews
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Added on May 26, 2010
Last Updated on May 26, 2010
Tags: blood, street, hoax, tyburn, short poem

Author

José Humilde
José Humilde

Pocatello, ID



About
I'm a simple man with a complex mind. I was born and raised in southeastern Idaho, and wouldn't change a thing. I'm a young 21-year-old Chicano who has a deep understanding for his culture. I'm.. more..

Writing