The Fight

Roommates squabble.

Clementine and Laci are in the living room of their apartment. It’s 2:00 AM. Laci is painting, Clementine is on a computer. Laci gets up to change the thermostat.

Clementine: Oh, thanks.

Laci: Too hot?

Clementine: No…too cold. Way too cold--did you turn it down?

Laci: Yeah, it’s hot in here.

Clementine: Are you serious? It’s like 20 degrees.

Laci: Hardly.

Clementine: Why did I have to get a roommate from Antarctica.

Laci: Alaska.

Clementine: Same thing. Come on, seriously. I’m freezing.

Laci continues to paint, ignoring Clementine.

Clementine: How do you stand this?

Laci: I need it. I have to stay awake. This project is due tomorrow.

Clementine: Yeah, and I need to get this program running smoothly by tomorrow. I can’t work if I freeze to death.

Laci: You’re not going to freeze to death.

Clementine: You don’t know that. Do you have any idea how many people freeze to death in the United States every year?

Laci: No, but I’m sure you do.

Clementine: approximately 8,000. Last year the UK had record high figures--24,000 in just a few months.

Laci: Good thing we’re not in the UK.

Clementine: No, but plenty of people freeze to death here.

Laci: Those are all homeless people.

Clementine: Not all of them. A decent percentage of them froze to death in their homes as a result of skyrocketing electricity bills.

Laci: Okay, so a couple of 90 year old women couldn’t take the cold. That doesn’t mean you’re going to die any time the temperature dips below 60 degrees.

Clementine: You don’t know my body!

Silence. Clementine glares at Laci, who purposefully avoids looking at her. Laci begins to hum while she paints.

Clementine: Do you have any idea how distracting that is?

Laci: Not particularly.

Clementine: It’s obnoxious.

Laci: [sarcastically] Wah.

Clementine gets up to change the thermostat

Laci: Don’t!

Clementine: You can annoy me to death or freeze me to death. You can’t have both!

Laci: Stop being so overly dramatic! The cold is good for you, anyway.

Clementine: How do you figure?

Laci: It’s good for the soul.

Clementine: The soul?

Laci: That’s what I said. You need to suffer for you art! That’s why it’s called PAIN-ting! Laci chuckles at the joke, knowing full well that Clementine knows she stole it from the internet.

Clementine: You have to suffer for art. I for one don’t like being miserable when I’m working.

Laci: You could have fooled me!

Clementine: Why do you get to decide everything, anyway?

Laci: What are you talking about?

Clementine: Why should you get to pick the temperature?

Laci: Because of reasons.

Clementine: That’s not an answer!

Laci: Works for me.

Clementine scoffs and cranks the thermostat all the way up.

Laci: Hey! Don’t--

Clementine: [mocking voice] you have to suffer for your art!

Laci glares at Clementine, who smirks and goes back to her computer

Laci: Can’t we compromise?

Clementine: I don’t negotiate with terrorists.

Laci: Why don’t you put on a sweater?

Clementine: Why don’t you wear shorts?

Laci: [loudly] WHY DON’T YOU JUST GET A BLANKET?

Clementine: [louder] WHY DON’T YOU JUST GET A FAN?

Laci: [screaming] WHY DON’T YOU JUST"

Suddenly there’s an angry banging on the floor. It’s the man living beneath them.

Man: WHY DON’T YOU BOTH JUST SHUT THE HELL UP AND GO TO BED?

The two look at each other, shocked. Laci takes out a pad of paper and writes 50? She holds it up and shows it to Clementine, who nods in approval. She changes the thermostat and they work in silence again.

Author's Note

Sorry if this is in the wrong category, I don't normally write scenes. Done for a class.

Reviews

[emipoemi]

Yeah, this is more of a stage play, but I can so see it being mounted. It's funny and believable, and both the characters rock it out in the mere moments they share the stage together. And the living "underneath" them is a great touch. Well done!

Can say why most of your work has gone unread all this time....it's got personality!