Dark as Night

I have no idea where this came from to be honest. So its no where near close to as good as it could be. But it made me think.

My best friend

Is my worst enemy

My true love

Is not in love with me

My darkest Secret

Is not a secret

He knows everything

And Nothing

I close my eyes

And see His Face

I cover my ears

And hear His voice

Others say they care

Say they want me

But That doesn't matter

I lay in bed at night alone

And smile

I would not give it up

For even in the darkness of my life

There is and always will be

Light

Reviews

[Lalli]

k first of all... that review u left me.. wow! thank you, you made my day!

second, this poem... wow! hahaha... not but seriously i love how you start off with the negative tone, and then blind side us with that positivve unseen twisted bend as i call it. That basically is exactlyy how i write.. captivate through the negative drawing them into the positive. GREAT POEM!..
thank you for sharing as well

much love n' respect

-Lalli

[Adrian K. Smith]

A curious piece of hope, as the picture painted is one where everything is wrong. Yet, there is the smile - born from the realization that within everything that is wrong, there is still that light. It had a feel to it, that it might go into the darkness, disappearing into despair... but with that smile, you returned us to the light. Well done...

[The Elder Pine]

I would agree with Ben's review. I did like it very much and you have a good amout of ability. I think a bit of editing would really make this piece shine. Thank you very much for sharing, and please keep writing!

[Your Tasty Field Adviso..]

wow, the enemy you speak of seems to be infanant and sleepless. i love the poem. i like how you worded it and the style you wrote in at the same time. great poem.

[Brandon]

This piece was nicely written.

[Arthur Henn]

One word, Superb!

Keep writing.

Art

[Benjamin L. Weekly]

In spite of your comments about this not being very good, I have to contradict you and say that this piece is in fact quite good.

It's power is in contrast, and two line phrases. The first 12 lines use contrast to bring home how badly this life is, I.E all the negative things. The rest is the resolution, ending in the word "Light".

I would have very much enjoyed seeing the same contrast pattern continue uniformly throughout the poem. If you are the type of artist that revises, I would suggest playing around with that.

It's almost as if the first 12 lines are one poem, and the rest another.

The message is great, thanks for sharing, - Ben