Same-sex marriage is a term for a governmentally, socially, or religiously recognized marriage in which two people of the same sex live together as a family. (Wickapedia "Same-Sex Marriage") "We are in a transition between a new consciousness and old difinations. The new consciousnes will win, but as with every human struggle to emerge from ignorance, tehr will be casualities long after the issue is decided." (John Shelby Spong)
The institution of marriage has been i a state of influx for centuries. It was only after the Civil War that African-Americans were allowed to marry in all areas of the U.S. Prior to and during 1967, at least sixteen states prohibited mixed race couples from marrying. Inter-racial marriage became legal throughout the U.S. Supreme Court decision in that year. But, until recently, same-sex couples could not marry anywhere in the world. In April of 2001 The Netherlands expanded its definition of marriage to include both opposite-sex and same sex couples. Belgium joined in the expansion of new consciousness in January of 2003. Nex to join in June 2003, was Ontario, a province of Canada. By November 2004, same-sex marriage had become available in most Canadian provinces. On July 20, 2005 SSM became theoretically available across all of Canada. On June 20, 2005 Spain passed a law allowing SSM couples to marry. South Africa's law became into effect on November 30, 2006.
Many policial juisdictions have special legislation that allows gay and lesbian couples to register their committed relationship as a civil union or domestic partnership and gain SOME benefits. Many couples only have recive some advantages that opposite-gender couples automatically acquire when they marry. In the case of the U.S., couples typically recive a few hundred state benefits, but not the over one thousand federal benefits. Others--typically religious and social conservation- feel that SSM is a major threat to the institution of marriage itself. Currently, in the United States only one man ad one woman can have their marriages recognized by the state, expecpt for residents of Masachusetts. Same-sex couples were able to obtain marriage lecenses in San Francisco, CA, and in various towns in ew Mexico and New York for short intervals of time during 2004. However, none were able to register their marriages. "Promoting hatred and bigotry in the name of God is what destroys society, not the marriage of two loving people of the same gender." (Raymond Miller)
Ask just about anyone. They'll tell you they're in favor of equal rights for homosexuals. Just name the situation, and ask. They'll all say yes, gays should have the same rights in housing, jobs, public accommondations, and should have equal access to government benefits, equal protection of the lay, etcetra, and etcetra. Then you get o gay marriage. And that's when all this talk of equality stops dead cold. More then half of all people in the United States oppose gay marriage, even though three fourths are otherwise supportive of gay rights. This means that many of the same people who are even passionately in favor of gay rights oppose gays rights on this one issue.
There is a lot of misunderstanding about what homosexuality really is, as well as the erroneous assumption that gay people enjoy the same cicil rights protections as everyone else. There are also a lot of sterotypes about gay relationships, and even a great deal of misunderstanding of what marriage itself is all about and what its purpous is. The purpous of this essay, then, is to clear up a few of these misunderstandings and discuss some of the facts surrounding gay relationships and marriage, gay and straight.
The stereotype has it that gays are promiscous, unable to form lasting relationships, and the relationships that do form are shallow and uncommitted. And gays do have such relationships, but the important fact to note is tha just like in strait society, where such relationships also exist, they are a small minority, and exist primarily among the very young. As gays age and mature, just like their strait cohorts, they begin to appreciate and find their way into long-term committed relationships.
A benefit to hetrosexual society of gay marriage is the fact that the commitment of a marriage means that participants are discouraged from promiscuous sex. This has the advantage of slowing the spread of sexually transmitted disease, which know no sexual orientation and are equal opportuity destroyers. Many gays make contributions to their communities, serving on school boards, volunterring in community charities, and trying to be good citizens. In doing so, they take full advantage of their relationship to make not only their own lives beter, but those of their neighbors as well. These benefits of gay marriage have changed the attitudes of the majority of people in Denmark and other countries where various forms of gay marriage have been legal for years. Polling results now show that most people there now recognize that the benefits far outweigh the trivial costs, and that far from threatening hetrosexual marriage, gay marriage has actually strengthened it.
So, having established the value of gay marriage, why are people so opposed to it? Many people continue to believe the propaganda from the right-wing religious organizations that homosexuality is about nothing but sex, considering it o be merely a sexual perversion. The reality is that homosexuality is multidimensional, and is much more about love and affection than it is about sex. And this is what gay relationships are based on--mutual attraction, love and affection. Sex, in a commited gay relationship, is merely a means of expressing that love, just he same as it is for heterosexuals.
Marriage is an institution between one man and one woman. Well, that's the most often heard arguement, one even codified in a recently passed U.S. federal law. Yet, it is easily the weakest. Who says what marriage is and by whom it is to be deined? The married? The marriable? It seems to me tha justice demands thatif the straight community cannot show a compelling reason to deny the institution of marriage to gay people, it shouldn't be denied. And such simple, nebulous declarations, with no real moral argument behind them, are hardly compelling reasons. They're really more like an expression of prejudice than any kind of a real argument. The concept of not denying people their rights unless you can show a compelling reason to deny them is the very basis of the American ideal of human rights.
Same-sex couples aren't the optimum environmet in which to raise children. That's an interesting one, in light of who society does allow to get married and bring children into their marrigae. Think about it: murderers, convicted felons of all sorts, even known child molesters are allowed to freely marry and procreate, and do so every day, with hardly a second thought, much less a protest, by these same critics. Therefore if children are truly the priority here, why is this allowed? The fact is that many gay couples raise children, adopted and occasionally their own from failed attemps at heterosexual marriages. A good lot of studies have shown that the outcomes of the children raised in the homes of gay and lesbian couples are just as good as those of strait couples. The differences have been shown again ad agin to be insignificant. Psychologists tell us that what makes the difference is the love and commitment of the parents, not their gender. The studies are very clear about that. And gay people are as capable of loving children as fully as anyone else.
Gay relationships are inmoral. Says who? The Bible? Somehow, I alwyas thought that freedom of religion implied freedom from religion as well. The bible has absolutely no standing in American law, as well made clear by the intent of the First Amendment (and was very explicitly staed by the founding fathers in their first treaty, the Treaty of Tripoli, in 1791) and because it doesn't, no one has the right to impose rules on anyone else simply because of something they preceive to be a moral injunction mandated by the Bible.
Same-sex marriage would threaten the institution of marriage. Well, that one's contradictory right on the face of it. Threaten marriage? By allowing people to marry? That doesn't sound very logical to me. If it is the stability of the institution of heterosexual marriage that worries you, then consider that on one would require you or anyone else to participate in a gay marriage. You would still have freedom of choice, of choosing which kind of marriage to participate in- something more then what you have now. And speaking of divorce- to argue that he insitution of marriage is worth preserving at the cost of requiring involuntary participants to remain in it is a better argument for reforming divorce laws than proscribing gay marriage.
Marriage is traditionally a heterosexual institutaion. This morally the weakest argument. Slavery was also a traditional institution, based on traditions tha went back to the very beginings of human history- further back, even, than marriage as we know it. But by the 19th century, humanity had generally recognized the evils of that institution, and has since made a serious effort to abolish it. Why not recognize the truth- that here is no moral ground on which to support he tradition of marriage as a strictly hetersexual institution, and remove the restriction.
It is my firm belief that, given the arguement against SSM is weak, SSM should, and one day will, be legalized. It is only a matter of time before the world rises above ignorance. SSM is not just something that will pass by if ignored. It is something that will cause our country to be exposed to another divide. It may not be the north against the south, but the liberals against the conservatives. More than a hundered years ago it was black rights; 80 years ago it was women's rights, and today its gay rights, just another social norm the world will soon adapt to.
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