The Life of Jade Merkynhough: Coming up for Air

It was my third year, and still I hadn’t gotten tired of the bright blue of his eyes. The volume of his hair still encased me, ripping me to shreds in one pulsing breath. It was my third year, I needed to focus on studies, focus on gaining further extracurricular activities in order to be accepted into BU, and I needed to participate in something other than myself.  

                Do you actually want to? A friend of mine Milly asked. She isn’t the type of friend you’re thinking of, the one that everyone catches a glimpse of. Understand? Here let me explain, Milly has been with me since I was little, we moved into our first house together with my parents, we had our first boyfriend at the same time- presumably, considering it was the same boy. Nevertheless, Milly was my best friend; however, after fifth grade my parents decided that it was “bout time” I left Milly behind, that is was “bout time” the only person who mattered in my life just disappeared. So I tried, but the only way to calm the voices was to ignore them, funny thing is I never wanted them to shut up.

                “Jade, homework?” Mr. Cassidy asked. I lost my train of thought in those eyes. My entire mind floated on the breeze of my subconscious, leaving me and my over working uterus alone with him.

                “I- I’m sorry, what did you say?” I begged myself to breath. Begged myself to remember how a breath felt, as oxygen entered your lungs, and carbon dioxide withdrew from them.

                “Homework, Jade, you know the little piece of paper which says write this four paragraph essay and present it to the class. Surely, you haven’t forgotten,” I could never.

                “Oh no sorry, my mind was elsewhere.”

                “As it has always been,” he joked. He often had two personalities, his funny and just plain beautiful self, while other times he couldn’t help being a whopping pain in the a*s. He was innumerably similar to the latter now.

                “Do you want me to present now?” Crap, I forgot, those questions are off limits. I was not allowed to ask him what he wanted, or rather who?  “Apologies, I meant should I come,” I paused, thinking to carefully choose my words “To the front of the classroom that is?” He sat there staring at me his eyes baring a hole into my skin. I could feel each layer of my clothing falling off with one glance; I finally understood what the phrase undressing someone with your eyes meant.

                “Sure, if you wouldn’t mind,” He paused, staring deeper into my eyes. I wondered if the other kids could hear my thumping heart. If they could feel how deep I was in. Surely, if they could Mr. Cassidy, Levi, would be off to the chair by now, and I, I would in all likelihood be grounded until oblivion. Ugh groundation, such a juvenile concept. The bell rang, saving me from any chance of further public humiliation. All I needed to do now was to quickly rise from my seat before…

                “Jade, can I speak to you for a moment?” No.

                “Of course, but I can’t be late to geometry.”

                “It it’ll only be for a moment, and I can write you a pass if you need it.” I receive a seat at his desk rubbing the mahogany between my fingertips. I knew what had happened here; I stopped caressing the table and peered at him. “Oh no, not here, Mrs. Ultra has social-economics class so we,” he’s looking at me again. I look away “will move this meeting to the teacher’s lounge.” He said with a bitter, sarcastic enthusiasm.  I silently sent a prayer to God due to the fact that Levi wouldn’t try anything four feet away from the principal’s office, would he?

                “You know him more fitting than I do.” Milly answered, her voice holding a curt sassy response. She had feelings for a 26 years of age teachers with a girlfriend. I guess I did too.

                The walk to the teacher’s lounge was silent, almost dead; however, Levi just couldn’t stop touching me. I’d trip a little he’d catch me, taking my breath away, I’d accidently walk into a wall, he’d pull me back by my waist chuckling to himself. He was impossible to avoid, howbeit, I didn’t want to.

                “Welcome to my humble abode.” He says, stretching his arms over the smoke filled, coffee smelling teachers’ lounge. Everything felt heavier in here, as if these people’s reasons for living had been answered through the filling of a jelly donut, and the sticky coffee stains, no one had bothered to mop up since the last time I had been here. I couldn’t help wondering if this is what all students’ lives would amount to, dwelling on the fact that the people who have taught us, our motivators, have been degraded to nothing but a frigging coffee stain no one bothered to clean; howbeit, I knew there were presidents and lawyers who had all been taught under these filthy creatures. Yet, did they still have a week, no a month, decrepit coffee stain polluting their overly expensive marble tiles...? “Penny for them,” and in a matter of seconds, he was sweet again.

                “Nothing,” he didn’t believe me, and I knew from experience he’d keep asking, “I was just thinking this room could benefit from a nice cleaning,” I say,  removing the navy blue sweater from my shoulders and splaying it on the red chair with shimmery stains. I knew what had happened there also.

                “Seriously? Sorry that was insensitive,”

                “You said you needed to talk to me,” My voice came out strenuously. He moved to me slowly, stepping one smooth step in front of him in the same manner a lion approaches a gazelle. I realized I sounded seductive, “Ugh,” I coughed clearing my throat, “about academics.”

                “You’re slipping in my class. You went from an A+ average to a C in four months. Did something happen that I should know about? Are your parents recently divorced? Did someone die?” Dick, you want to know why I lost my grade point average. Maybe it had something to do with you f*****g me on your f*****g mahogany desk or even here in this room when you were supposed to be taking your girlfriend to the hospital for some emergency checkup, and you never made it, or what about the time where you introduced me to your friends as your “two buck w***e.”

                “I’m not willing to play games with you, Mr. Cassidy.” I said not daring to look into his eyes, “I’ll bring up my grade point on my own, but thank you, sincerely.” I stand to leave placing my navy blue back on my narrow shoulders.

                “Jade,” I turned to him, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know that this would,” force me to fall in love with you? “Affect you so much. My goal wasn’t to hurt you. I was in a rather unhappy time in my relationship, and everything. I shouldn’t have done that,” his tone changes, “but honestly I rationalized you’d be a little bit more mature.”

                “Hmm,” I laughed cruelly, “I’m acting immature? You were the one f*****g a fifteen year old!” I shrieked exiting the teacher’s lounge trekking geometry. I heard him screaming after me, I heard him running down the hall in order to catch up with me, but I knew he’d never arrive. I knew he’d presumptively sulk back to the dismal teacher’s lounge, grab him a cup of Joe, and realize what an amazing person he missed out on.

                It was my third year of this bullshit, and still I hadn’t gotten tired of the bright blue of his eyes. The volume of his hair still encased me, ripping me to shreds in one pulsing breath. It was my third year, and finally I had decided that I was done; however, every time I saw at him my heart lurched from my chest and vied for a spot next to his. My heart was delusional, but it’s about damn time I listened to my head.  

Author's Note

While reading I would love if readers could please provide notes of assistance of how I can improve, and what I need to focus on: grammar, dialogue, etc.