Just a Story

Boyfriends are evil creations made to torrment you until you give in -.- ...I will get revenge.

There's a country girl,
who falls hard and fast for a city boy.
She knows he's too good to be true,
yet she trust him 100% anyway.
She can't make any sense of it...
her brain won't let her.

There's a city boy,
who loves his country girl.
He knows she has issues that are deeply rooted,
yet he loves her 100% anyway.
He can't let her go...
his heart won't let him.

The Girl wants to follow her mind,
but her heart keeps interfering.
The Boy wants to help his girl be happy,
but he doesn't realize he does that just by breathing.
The two are teenagers who met by a complete chance,
so of course this must just be a story...
Right?

Author's Note

I hate this poem with a passion...it's crap

Reviews

[nono]

Eh, its not the worse I've ever read. lol its actually very good, I think your not giving it and yourself enough credit. Really great job. The thing about people's writing is they usually fail to see the potential. See you hate it now with some editing you'll love it, and with some time, you'll want to publish it. Really great job!

[Karli]

I loved this. It's not like a traditional poem, but I'm not a very poetic person. I think you should actually make this into a story, because you've got a great concept. Good work:)

[justice]

Well, perhaps you "hate" it because it is more prose than poetry. However, I think that that is one of the more endearing aspects of this piece. Also, you couldn't hate it THAT much if you posted it on the web. :) I enjoyed the read for its value as a story. It is a good story... right? Thanks for sharing, even if you don't like it, some people do! Mission accomplished? All the best.
J

[Elysia]

I dissagree. I like it. Maybe something like this happened to people close to me. maybe even to me. Anyway, i think you should be proud of it

[Northend]

Stu's comment on your poem- i have an English degree with a minor in Literature and a foucus on secondary education from CSUS. and i'm failing to see why you hate this poem... your prose is very good, your imagery is compelling, and you convey emotion well. if you were a student in my class, i'd give you an "A." :)

[Northend]

its a great poem i love it cuz i know what its about and love the poems you call crap are really good and i enjoy them. you need to know you got a talent there and u just need to explore it great write!!!