The weekend I knew my other half.

November 21, 2011. 

I awoke to the still sound of silence that lay heavy and obvious after a storm. The windows above my bed were glazed with frost but through the pane I could hear the Magpies chirping. The Chris LeDoux playlist I left playing the last night was quietly spilling harmony into the room for the twentieth time around from my computer speakers. From my right side the prettiest voice whispered, 

"Tougher than the rest. I love this song."

I turned over and immediately was lost in her blue eyes. I remember hoping she wouldn't smile any larger or I might be trapped in them forever. I leaned down and whispered into her ear as I sang along. 

"So somebody walked out? Left your heart a mess? Well if you're looking for love hunny, I'm tougher than the rest." 

Before I could finish the verse she giggled playfully and bit my ear. I pulled my head away and found her now biting her lower lip and staring at me intensely. She didn't blink. Her eyes had a hunger in them. A hunger that I recognized from the night before. I leaned in and pressed my lips to hers. Before we crawled under the covers again "Western Skies" began to play and I remember wondering to myself if there was anything more romantic than a bed made on the floor, filled with two young passionate people, after a snow storm, while a playlist of that real country played softly in the background of a bedroom full of scattered shed antlers and the distant smell of weed burned from the night before. We let the playlist repeat a few more times before getting out of bed. 

After a shower and an elk steak and eggs breakfast we were strapping on our boots. There was no time to waste after all, the deer were moving. We got out of town about two hours after daylight. 

"We probably should have left a little earlier if we really want to catch them in the migration but, you know, someone kept me pinned down all morning." She said it through a mischievous smile.  

"Well? I suppose we could have skipped breakfast?," I responded. 

We were bouncing around on two tracks in my pickup. The sun was starting to get warm and it was shining brightly off the fresh layer of snow. In the desert the snow accumulates sporadically. The wind will drift it around all over the place and before you know it, you go from one foot of snow to four. It makes for a rough ride but, if you want to see deer, you have to go where the deer are. Besides, she wasn't the type of woman to mind a bumpy ride. 

"Oh... okay. It was breakfast that tied us up all morning. Sure." Her grin was contagious. I had to spread one out as well. 

What was it with this girl that made my jaw sore from smiling so often? Before I could get too deep in contemplation we crested a ridgeline and came to a stop. It couldn't have been more than two miles down and across the valley where thousands of Mule Deer wintered. We parked the pickup, strapped our Badlands packs onto our backs, checked our gear and cameras then, started our hike in. It was only a few hundred yards into the climb when I noticed her glassing the bottom of a draw off to the left. I stopped, crouched down and pulled out my Leopolds. She hunkered low and moved in right next to me. 

"Put your glass on that big cedar where that finger starts," she whispered.

There he was. I had been watching him for the past 3 years. 

"Is that him?" she asked.

"Yes! Oh man, I'm so happy he made it back this year. Do you see his funky back fork? That's how I always no it's him. Wow, he got so big! Hello Half Rack, long time no see brother."

My new beautiful, blonde friend was starting at me with a curious look on her face. I hadn't noticed until I put my glass down. 

"What?" I defensed. 

"You! You're cute." The smile on her face seemed to say more. "You know, most guys get excited about football and big trucks. She let out another one of those adorable giggles that had been driving me crazy the past few nights. 

"Yea well, most girls wouldn't give a damn about these deer and their migration either," I replied, "but yet, here you are." 

We had had this conversation on our first date two nights ago. Usually I wait until the third date to reveal my guilty obsession with wildlife, outdoors, hunting, fishing, nature photography, and the countless other time wasting hobbies of a man who was raised in the distant mountains however, when I picked her up she was wearing a camouflage, skin tight dress. It was strapless and her long gold hair covered her shoulders. I remember thinking to myself, "too good to be true," when I first saw her. Over dinner we skipped all the traditional first date conversations. We skipped 21 questions. We skipped the uncomfortable interrogations. We were so wrapped up in talks of hunting and hiking that neither one of us cared to wonder about the others' past, children, exes, jobs, or living situations. She had explained to me how she was raised on a ranch in the Fontenelle Basin, right in the heart of the Wyoming Range. She was home schooled and worked the ranch with her family until she was 19. She graduated from the University of Wyoming when she was 23 and now works for a small engineering firm. 

"Hell, I hadn't even tried beef until I was in college," She explained. "We raised cattle by the thousands but, for generations my family has always eaten what we hunt or fish. My great grandpa hated beef. He'd always say it was better to raise it and let the city folk pay for it and we'll just keep on hunting our meals for free." 

I couldn't believe that any of it was real. I kept pinching myself thinking this was all just a wonderful dream. As I did so, I kept looking her body over. Her long bare legs were crossed and shining after a fresh shave all the way up to just above her knees where her Browning one piece hugged her from her wide hips to her sculpted abdomen and perfect chest. As the night went on and dinner turned into drinks I hadn't said much about myself. 

"So, what's your story?," she questioned through those hungry eyes. 

"I was born in a small west coast town but, my family moved to Alaska when I was three or four and that's where I was raised. I suppose that will always be home for me. I was raised pretty similar to how you were. The town I lived in didn't even have a door-to-door mail service. We had to check the p.o. box about once a month during the winter. I've been hunting and fishing since I was knee high but, in high school is when I started really getting interested in studying animal biology and habitual nature. I moved here to go to college and when I graduated, I took a job here. Since then I've fallen in love with this country and it's wildlife so... suppose I'll stick around a bit."

It was at this point that the "too good to be true" suspicion I had earlier rared up and knocked me out cold. It turned out, she wasn't staying long. She took a promotion in Southern California and was set to take off in a week. Hearing that made my heart sink. 

"But... there aren't any deer out that way? No elk, no fish, no bears... just a******s." I contested.

"I know!," she replied. "It's going to suck getting so far from my roots but, I need to take the opportunity to grow my career. I want to see things and go further. I'll be comin' around from time to time, and I sure as hell am not going to move permanently but, for now California will be where I reside."

"Yea, I get that", I responded somberly. It figured that the girl of my dreams would only drop into my life for a glimpse. 

"Hey, but ya know what?" She was smiling wide. "That's a whole damn week away. Tonight let's have a few drinks and see if we can't each make a new pal."

We ordered up a couple of beers and a shot for the each of us. As the night went on, the drinks kept coming and before we knew it, we had just laughed and danced the time right by. The place was shutting down and everyone was shuffling outside. 

"I suppose I better get you home. Think I'll call us a cab, those last two Quervo shots did me right." I explained through the most charming smile I could muster. 

"Yea, okay" she replied. She was smiling also. 

When the cab arrived we climbed in. 

"Thanks for the lift friend, we need to get this lovely gal home then I'm going to need a ride to my place as well." I gestured to the cab driver with my credit card. 

"Or... I mean, we could just go to your place?" Those hungry eyes were staring right through me. 

"As the lady wishes" I said through a s**t eating grin to the rear view mirror where the cab drivers face was plastered with a grin as well.

The following morning I woke up and she was gone. She left a note on the bedside table. 

"I promised my family I would meet them on the lake. Want to get together again tonight? Text me.

P.S. your dog looked hungry so I fed him. See you soon :)"

"Bet your sweet, little a*s I'll text you" I mumbled to myself. My pup Max was sitting at the edge of the bed panting. His tale was wagging and his jowls were stretch back in what seemed like a smile. Simply put, he looked exactly how I felt... minus a rising hangover. That night we met back up early in the evening. Dinner at my place was simple. Baked Spaghetti with Muley Sauce and a bottle of wine. After dinner we smoked from a pipe she had just bought on a trip to Laramie. The weekend had been nothing less than fantastic and then, there we were. On a hill side crouched down in the sage brush watching animals on the winter range. I remember as we sat there watching the deer rut I couldn't stop thinking about how badly I didn't want it to end but, as badly as I wanted the sun to stop moving, I couldn't make it. Eventually the deer moved off into the draws and bedded down. The sun was setting behind the Uinta Range so we climbed back into the pickup and turned the heater on. We shared the pictures we had taken throughout the day and played the radio. I broke out my hiking hitter and loaded it with the last of my pot. 

"Lady's first." I said as I handed her the pipe and lighter. 

She took a long hard hit and held it in. After a few seconds she let it out and shone that effulgent, white smile.

"Those deer are going to rut for another few weeks" she said as she handed me the hitter. 

"Yea, I'm sure Half Rack is working his charm on all the ladies in that herd. S**t, he might as well. They only want to let him breed for a couple months out of the year." With this I let out a small chuckle. 

"Yea... poor guy" She sarcastically wore a frown with this statement. When the frown wore off, that beautiful smile of hers broke back through. Again, I was lost in those blue eyes. Somewhere in the abyss I was wandering around in a state of bliss, and the word triumph had little meaning in comparison to the overwhelming euphoric feeling that was flooding my veins. When I finally came back to reality from my journey into her hypnotising beauty I was pleased to find that once again we were locked at the lips. I turned my attention to the radio playing in the background again. Randy Houser was poring from the speakers and it sent a chill down my spine.

"Ever watched the sun go down from the bed of a pickup truck? Ever been so into somebody, you're still lying there when it comes back up?

I pulled my head away from hers to catch my breath. As the song kept playing she started singing along. Her voice was intoxicating. She was singing for me. Only for me.  

"Let your hair down, let it down, get you some of this laid on back. Take your shoes off, kick em' off and, get you some of this slow down fast. I'll take you up and down these hollars and hills. Let me show you how country feels!"

I pulled her close to me and ran my fingers through her hair. Again we locked lips. We stayed there the night and watched the sun rise that Monday morning. 

The rest of the week I didn't see her much. She occupied a lot of my productivity at work as I spent most of the day texting her. The boss man asked me who she was.

"What do ya mean?" I asked innocently.

Through a serious face that was struggling to freeze in a warm smile that was fighting to break free he relied, "You're walking around here with a s**t eating grin pasted onto your face permanently and every time I walk into the shop you're face down in that phone punching the buttons like they hit your mamma."

I grinned at this and looked down at my shoes. I at least had to pretend to be ashamed. 

"Now either the Game and Fish Department was shut down overnight and I haven't heard about it or you've got a girl on the other side of that phone line." The warm smile he was hiding finally shone through. 

"I spent the weekend with her in the hills watching deer migrate." I explained.

"Ha! Of course you did! Well, do me favor. Text her and tell her you're hard a*s boss is drilling you to get back to work and you'll call her at five when your shift is over."

"You got it boss, sorry."

He grinned and walked away facetiously complaining, "Goddamn kids don't want to work, they want to text all the goddamned day to,.. who the hell knows who." 

Her flight was set to leave at eleven Friday night. I picked her up after work and took her out to one last dinner. After which we made a pit stop at my place for one last goodbye, then we headed to the airport. A last kiss and a short security check line later and she was gone. For a short time after the texts and calls were regular but eventually, like all long distance things, what we had faded and was set back on the priority list. Sometimes "Tougher Than The Rest" plays on the local station and I have to stop and take a moment to remember her but, no matter how long ago it seems we were together watching the mule deer migrate, when I hear those words it feels like she's right here with me; staring into my eyes with that hunger I miss so dearly. That hunger that seemed infinite and unfailing. That hunger that was just for me. It was special. It was infinite surely and, until it returns, even if it takes a lifetime of waiting, I'll be here with the same smile that won her heart the first time.